Used

[Effie]

Hi
I have been caring for my nephews n niece for 8 years
It’s a carer situation. My husbands family has done nothing but abuse me for 7 and a half years. My husband does not support me or stick up for me he just makes excuses. I am sick and he is more worried about everyone else than what’s in front of his face. And has done this for years. He tells me I’m living in the past to let it go. But when ur traumatised by toxic people being his family, abusing me and blaming me for their drug addiction and mistakes it’s not past it’s trauma and present.
I’m so alone I feel I lead a single life. I feel I’m being used Cos it’s easy cos I’m an idiot. He keeps calling them his kids.
They are not his kids.
I get abused for years and now he thinks it’s ok to have a relationship with his family, like it’s ok. Well it’s not I don’t see this working out. I’m sick of being used, I’m sick of being abused and not supported by the one person that should. I can only put it to one thing. He just does not give a damn. Blood is thicker than water.
But my life is gone now. My life is not my own it’s been dictated by morons.
I’m sick of this.
And now loosing my dad recently I just want to be with him. This is crap. This is not the life I signed up for.
I’m actually hating everyone in my life
Enough is enough.
Christmas was shit and I’m sick of being judged.
Lost my marbles, right.

Topic

[onlinecommunity]

Dear @Effie, welcome back to the forums. Our hearts are with you – you have your Dad’s anniversary coming up while feeling disrespected and alone in your marriage.

It might be helpful to know that feeling alone in a relationship is more common than you think. Many of us are surrounded by lots of other people and yet still feel lonely. We long for someone who we can rely on, confide in and feel respected by.

Because a quarter of Australians are dealing with loneliness and isolation like this, Griefline has started a new free service called Care to Call. We wonder if it might be something you’re interested in. At this stage, it’s funded for people living in NSW and Victoria only. So if you’re located in either one you might like to take a look at our webpage and consider signing up for the program.

You’ll get a phone call every week from a friendly volunteer to talk about your experience. They’ll listen and understand. They might even suggest some activities in your local area that you could get involved with – to bring you some happiness and ease the loneliness. If it sounds like something you’re interested in, fill out the registration form here on our website; https://griefline.org.au/care-to-call.

You are also warmly welcomed to keep posting here. We are here for you. 🌸

[Effie]

Hi all
An update
It’s a year nearly since my dad passed away already. I miss him everyday. I’m still being treated like crap. I’m disrespected by my husband
He speaks to me with rudeness with no apology he speaks to others like honey but to me he’s a jerk. And I have to be ok with it. Well I’m not anymore.
He does not deserve me n I’m sick of being used like a glorified house maid for his brothers kid’s.
Today he was commenting on girls at the beach n telling the older boy to ho show them how to kick a ball.
I believe it was him that wanted to go. But disrespected me to my face.
Not to mention being on his phone when I talk so I guess it’s time to see a solicitor.
I’m not well his family has made me sick and he allowed it and sticks up fir them when they abused me for years he never asks how I am at all. He is rude full stop. I think he is here cos he’s expecting I’m gonna die so he will get it all.
All I can say is thank god we don’t have kids together
But I’m fed up. He needs to go.
I’ve been married for 30 years and I’ve always been alone. Leading a single life cos he is selfish. Simply a pig.

[jamifids]

Hi
I have been caring for my nephews n niece for 8 years
It’s a carer situation. My husbands family has done nothing but abuse me for 7 and a half years. My husband does not support me or stick up for me he just makes excuses. I am sick and he is more worried about everyone else than what’s in front of his face. And has done this for years. He tells me I’m living in the past to let it go. But when ur traumatised by toxic people being his family, abusing me and blaming me for their drug addiction and mistakes it’s not past it’s trauma and present.
I’m so alone I feel I lead a single life. I feel I’m being used Cos it’s easy cos I’m an idiot. He keeps calling them his kids.
They are not his kids.
I get abused for years and now he thinks it’s ok to have a relationship with his family, like it’s ok. Well it’s not I don’t see this working out. I’m sick of being used, I’m sick of being abused and not supported by the one person that should. I can only put it to one thing. He just does not give a damn. Blood is thicker than water.
But my life is gone now. My life is not my own it’s been dictated by morons.
I’m sick of this.
And now loosing my dad recently I just want to be with him. This is crap. This is not the life I signed up for.
I’m actually hating everyone in my life
Enough is enough.
Christmas was shit and I’m sick of being judged.
Lost my marbles, right.

You need support and time to deal with the situation. You don’t need to make any quick decisions. Think about what the future holds for you.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by jamifids.

[amojel]

Hi,

I have no idea what occurred last night but I’ll try to be in touch later on today. I have a really busy weekend ahead so if you write and I don’t respond particularly quickly, I’ll write when it’s easy.

[Effie]

Hi
I’m
Not sure what’s going on.

[amojel]

Hi Effie,

I tried to reply to your previous message and it didn’t go. I got a response to say it was blocked. Not sure what’s happening. I think it would be good to keep up some contact. I’ll send you a personal email if necessary.

[amojel]

Hi. Trying to write to you but been blocked. Not sure what’s going on.

[Effie]

As far as the kids go, we’ll it’s easy for the family to pass blame on me for the kids upbringing Cos they are still in denial about the drug abuse.
They have nothing to loose blaming me for anything. They sure as hell don’t want the kids, if they did they would have fought for them. But not once did anyone fight.
Just she’ll be right. Glorified babysitter and we see them once a year and act like it’s a normal happy family.
Whilst I’ve been abused and traumatised by the most toxic people I know.
No judgement just saying.

[Effie]

No one supported me and still no one supports me
But in saying this as there is no tone in writing I’m feeling overwhelmed right now.
Yes I’m angry and was angry and now I’m just angry at myself for allowing things to get to this stage.

I’ve allowed people to treat me like this
But I’m now at a no more stage.
My siblings can go to hell. My husbands family can go to hell. I’m just done with it.
It was easier with dad here Cos at least I knew where I stood.

[amojel]

This is about you and not me because, right at this moment, I’m here for you. I’m pleased that you acknowledged there’s some anger but I’d also like you to consider the feelings of abandonment from the people around you. It sounds to me like you were the one who took responsibility for your father and other things and no one else could be bothered, and even in the way you described your relationship with your father. Trying to put myself in your position, I’d feel really angry and let down. Who the heck/hell was there to support me (in my imagination of your experience) so who was there for you? No one by the sounds of it. Okay; so what can we do with that? Well, for a start we can probably acknowledge that you’re pretty damn tough. What do you think?

[Author]

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