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I lost my soulmate early this year due to a sudden, freak accident. My partner was so full of life, so alive, that I cannot fathom that one day he just didn’t come home and he still doesn’t come home. He was my perfect person, I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to have met him and to be with him, yet in the same vein, I’m confused and still in shock that he’s no longer here.
I feel so incredibly alone, as none of my friends have experienced the loss of the partner at my age. We were making plans for the future – buying a house, children and travelling – and now that he’s no longer here, I don’t see what the purpose of my existence is. Our lives were just about to get started. All my friends are making plans, now that we are “living with” COVID and I hate that everyone’s lives keep moving, whilst my world has stopped. Whilst everyone reached out at the beginning of my partner’s death, now that months have passed, it’s so quiet and isolating. My friends that do reach out also say the wrong things, but I guess they are trying their best. My friend connected me with an older widow in her 60s, but I found it depressing because our circumstances are different.
I’ve tried to look for online support groups, but most skew older and it is difficult to relate. Even typing this is an out of body experience, sometimes I can’t even cry. Wanted to know if there is anyone of similar age that is going through the same experience as I am? The advice that I’ve been given is one day at a time, but I find that so miserable when everyone else is making plans. I go to work but I don’t see the purpose of it, because previously I worked hard so that my partner and I can have a wonderful life and now it feels meaningless without him.
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