Home › Forums › Loss of a loved one › I lost my husband 4.5 months ago after a 10 week short battle with lung cancer. › Reply To: I lost my husband 4.5 months ago after a 10 week short battle with lung cancer.
Dear @Ros, welcome to the forums. And thank you for your beautiful message of empathy and compassion to @Deb. Posts like these epitomise what the forums are all about – connecting with others through a shared experience and finding comfort knowing that we are not alone in our pain.
Our hearts go out to you also for the loss of your adored husband. It sounds like you shared a ‘bubble’ of love with each other and your little dog – which is something so precious. You talk about the crushing loneliness you are feeling, and we want you to know that losing a spouse has been shown as the leading cause of chronic loneliness in people – made worse when we have nursed them through a long illness. But the fact that you have 2 wonderful friends so dedicated to you is a very good thing and speaks volumes about you as a person. You might also consider joining Griefline’s Care to Call program where we connect you with one of our caring volunteer supporters. They’ll give you a ring once a week for a chat. What you chat about and how long for is completely up to you. For more details take a look at the webpage here; https://griefline.org.au/get-help/care-to-call/
You talk about working until you’re exhausted which is a common coping mechanism in grief. It’s a way for us to avoid sitting with the loss. And that’s OK for now. Your loss is still very recent and you may need a little more time before you feel ready to start processing it. Likewise, your uncontrolled crying is a natural coping mechanism. Remember we all have our own unique way of grieving and this is yours. Be gentle on yourself. Treat yourself as you would a friend… if you think you’re working yourself too hard perhaps give yourself a gentle talking to – it might be time for a sit down with a cuppa. And you could try some self-care exercises like the ones here on our rest and relaxation page. We particularly like the ‘Reflecting on Positive Experiences’ exercise ☺️
@Ros your kind words to @Deb were “It is comforting to all of us who are grieving to know that others do care.” We want you to know that we care for you too…and are here for you. Please keep in touch and let us know how you are faring. 🌸