Supporting someone experiencing grief and loss

When someone you care about is grieving after the death of a loved one, it can be hard to know what to say or do. Grief is deeply personal, and each person will respond in their own way. This guide offers practical suggestions to help you show up with empathy and confidence when someone you care about is navigating grief.

Understanding grief

Grief is a natural response to death and other significant losses. It often includes emotional, physical, and behavioural reactions, which may appear immediately or emerge over time. There is no “normal” or “right” way to grieve.

Common emotional reactions include sadness, anger, guilt, and confusion. Physically, a grieving person might feel fatigued, have difficulty sleeping, or lose their appetite. Behavioural changes might include withdrawal from social activities, difficulty concentrating, or irritability.

Every person’s experience of grief is shaped by their relationship to the person who died, their circumstances, and their support systems. Respecting that individuality is one of the most important ways we can provide support.

How to support someone who is grieving

Listen with empathy
You don’t need the perfect words. What matters most is being present and truly listening.

• Let them share their thoughts and emotions at their own pace.
• Avoid interrupting or steering the conversation.
• Accept silence; sitting together without words can be just as meaningful.

Acknowledge their experience
Let them grieve in their own way. Avoid suggesting there’s a right or wrong way to feel. Try saying:

• “It makes sense that you’re feeling this way.”
• “This must be really hard.”
• “I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

Avoid judgement
Grief can bring up confronting emotions. You might hear things that are painful or surprising. Try to create a non-judgemental space by listening without trying to solve or correct their feelings.

Make space for difficult feelings
If they express guilt, anger, or self-blame, it may feel instinctive to reassure them. But statements like “Don’t say that” can feel dismissive. Instead, acknowledge their reality in the moment:

• “I can hear how hard this is for you.”
• “That sounds really painful.”

Be patient with time
Grief doesn’t follow a schedule. Some days will feel better than others, and the intensity can come and go. Avoid comparing their process to “stages” or expected milestones.

Keep checking in
Many people offer support immediately after a death, but grief can last much longer. Regular check-ins — even months later — can be powerful. These don’t have to be about the grief specifically. A friendly text, sharing a memory, or dropping off a meal can show you’re still there.

What to say (and what not to say)

Say this:

• “I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”
• “I’m here whenever you feel like talking.”
• “It’s okay to feel however you feel.”

Avoid saying:

• “They’re in a better place.”
• “At least they lived a long life.”
• “You’ll feel better soon.”

Even well-meaning phrases can feel minimising. Instead, focus on empathy, not solutions.

Looking after yourself

Supporting someone who is grieving can be emotionally intense. Make time to care for your own wellbeing. Reflect on your boundaries, talk to someone you trust, and rest when you need to.

Support is available

Griefline offers free and confidential support:

• Call the Griefline Helpline: 1300 845 745 (8am–8pm, 7 days)
• Join our Online Forums for peer support: Visit the forums

You can also visit our Resource Hub for more information and support tools, or Download our free ebook: How to Support a Grieving Friend – for more comprehensive tips from Griefline ambassadors Sal and Im from the Good Mourning Grief Podcast.

You’re not expected to have all the answers. Showing up, listening, and being kind can make all the difference.