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Dear @maried1
I am so sorry for the loss of your sister. It’s so difficult, heartbreaking and unfair when we lose someone so close to us and I am so sorry that you are dealing with this.
Keeping their possessions to us can be so helpful and I am glad that her blanket provides you with comfort and feeling close to her.
I can hear how difficult sleep has been, how painful it has been, how difficult it has been to get out of bed and keep going.
I can hear self blame as well, please know that you did everything you could and you sounded like such a generous carer and guardian.
I am sorry to hear about the fall and the failings of the medical professionals, I can’t imagine how difficult that would also be to deal with and the severity of her injury.
Losing someone unexpectedly is deeply shocking and upsetting.Please know that Griefline’s helpline is here to listen. We are available 8am-8pm Monday-Sunday. We also offer support groups and online forums, which I can see you have connected to.
If your mental health is struggling, speaking to a mental health professional can be helpful too or reaching out to a service such as Beyond Blue can be helpful as well. Wishing you all the best. We have some information on our website about coping which could be helpful too.Hi , I lost my partner / best friend April . From diagnosis to be deceased in 3 weeks
Hi , I lost my partner / best friend April . From diagnosis to be deceased in 2 weeks
Hi Ruby,
So sorry to hear about your loss, and well done for reaching out even after some time has passed. There’s definitely no timeline for grief, it can linger for a long time or pop up when you don’t expect it.
I lost a really close friend when I was younger, and I definitely still experienced a feeling of numbness after a year, and it would still happen sometimes even a couple years later. I found some mindfulness helped, like naming things I can see, or going for a walk and trying to notice things of a certain colour. Just something to drag my attention back to actually noticing things, instead of zoning out. Are there any things you do that help you feel more present?
Jumping on the forums is a great step, there’s lots of support here. Go gently with yourself and take some small steps, you’re doing a great job already!Dear Ruby,
Thank you for reaching out to us at Griefline to share what a devastating time you and your whole Family have been going through since March 2024.
To lose a brother so young and in such a tragic way I can only imagine is devastating and as you said s hard to believe it is real sometimes.
Your feeling at this time are so normal ,happiness and then numb and so empty.Eveyone’s experience of grief is so different.Griefline is here 7 days a week from 8 am -8pm Victorian time and our number is 1300 845 745 if you ever feel like talking about what you are experiencing or to talk about your brother and what you miss about him.
Ou
Our website has lots of resources about grief and loss and there is the option to join a six week zoom group for those who have lost someone.
Self care is important too and there is imformation about this on the website.Moving forward is not easy and you are not ‘horrible’ in wanting to live your life now. It is about learning to live with the loss alongside you living your life.This is not easy to do.
Be kind to yourself and lovely to hear from you Ruby.
Take Care.Hi my name is Ruby
In march of 2024, i lost my eldest brother to a fight outbreak which unfortunately he ended up passing away from.
Since he passed i have struggled to recover from it and the thought of if how he died.
He was 35 and the night we got the call it broke me and my family.
I have struggled to believe its real sometimes and have wanted to call or text him as i always went to him for my problems and since then i have been bottling all my emotions and it’s been getting a lot worse lately.
Although there are times where im happy, when im alone i just feel so numb and empty sometimes.
And yes, i know its been over a year and im just writing this now but i really want to learn to accept that’s he’s really gone and i won’t ever see him again.
As horrible as that might sound, i want to be able to live my life and make him proud but im really struggling with that right now and have been since the day he passed away.Thanks for listening.
Dear Danielle,
I am sorry to hear about your loss and the struggles you are facing right now, I can’t imagine how that would feel for you. Thank you for reaching out and sharing your experience about your loss, it sounds like your mother was always there for you.
I am sorry to hear you have had trouble reaching someone to speak to at Griefline, I hope you have managed to get through since you wrote last.
At times there can be a wait, and I understand how frustrating that can be. I hope it wasn’t too long and that support was available when you needed it.It is comforting to hear that your grandmother and sister are there for you and that you do have support. But I also understand that it’s not the same, and that can feel so hard. It’s okay to miss what you had, and to feel the ache of that difference.
Please do reach out again if you would like to talk to someone. Take care 🙂
Dear Isabella,
Firstly, I want you to know that your feelings are valid, and there’s no right or wrong way to grieve. It’s completely normal to feel a mix of emotions, even after a significant amount of time has passed since your loss. Grief is a complex and personal process that takes time, and it’s essential to be patient with yourself.
It’s understandable to feel like others expect you to have moved on after a certain amount of time, but the truth is that grief doesn’t follow a linear path or a specific timeline. It’s natural to feel a deeper sense of sadness as the reality of your mother’s absence sets in.Visiting the cemetery can be a difficult and emotional experience. It’s okay if you’re not ready to go, and there’s no need to push yourself to do something that makes you uncomfortable. Everyone finds different ways to feel connected to their loved ones, and it’s important to find what works best for you. It could be looking at photos, sharing stories with family and friends, or even engaging in activities that your mother enjoyed.
As you navigate this process, remember that it’s crucial to be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion. Acknowledge your emotions and give yourself permission to feel them. It can also be helpful to seek support from a grief counselor or a support group where you can share your experiences with others who understand the complexity of grief. You are always welcome to have a free and non-judgemental conversation with a caring volunteer on the Helpline (1300 845 745 8am-8pm AEST) whenever you feel you are ready.
Your love for your mother is evident, and it’s clear that you miss her deeply. Please know that your feelings are normal, and it’s okay to take the time you need to grieve and heal. Remember, healing doesn’t mean forgetting your Mum; it means finding a way to carry her love and memory with you as you move forward.
I lost my mum a year and a half ago and it still hasn’t hit me, its so weird that i think sometimes she is going to come back and as the time goes by it just gets more painful. People around me think its all good now, that everything is better than before cause its been more than a year, almost two, but i just feel sadder thinking about it,like she really isn’t going to come back, i don’t even want to do anything for her two year anniversary cause it just makes it more real. I haven’t been able to go to her cemetery because i don’t know what to do when i get there and i’m scared that i’ll just stand there and cry, which i don’t want to do. Is that bad?
