Loss of a Loved One

[onlinecommunity]

Welcome to a place to discuss the loss of a partner, family member, close friend or anyone significant in your life.

Everyone grieves differently. Your grief is as unique as your own fingerprint. However, while often immensely painful, grief is our natural healing process in response to loss.

Grief comes and goes, it can be intense and then manageable, predictable and then uncontrollable. It might be brought on by a recent loss or a historical one, be triggered by an anniversary or the dread of an approaching milestone.

This forum is a safe and emotionally supportive space. It is a place to be accepted and understood by others who can empathise with you. You can feel free to remember your loved one and tell us about your grief journey. Together we can learn to understand the changing nature of grief over time while sharing coping tools and ways to practice self-care.

Topic

[vmShila]

Hello @nicyoung, just echoing @ vmmistonthelake. You’ve shown such courage reaching out at what is such an overwhelming time of loss. Please know that there is support for you when you need it and you can call 1300 845 745 between 8am and 8pm 7 days per week. I hope that you are finding ways to gently care for yourself and to seek support from loved ones, and professionals when you need it. I know it is hard to imagine, but I just wanted to say that the terrible pain will not be with you forever, although the grief and sense of loss may never fully leave, the intensity of your pain will change over time. We are here for you, please don’t hesitate to reach out.
Go gently,
Vmshila

[VM-MistOnTheLake]

Hello Nicyoung,

Thank you so much for bravely reaching out for help. I am sorry that it has taken so long for you to receive a response. It is very sad to hear that you lost your husband and then lost your mother while commemorating your husband’s life. The loss of two very significant persons in your life is a heavy load to bear. It must be hard to put one foot in front of the other, but you are showing strength by expressing your feelings and seeking support. Please take the time to be gentle with yourself as you deal with this grief. Your husband and mother are two people that you would naturally turn to for support during hard times. I am hearing that you may feel you don’t know where to turn. It must be so difficult. Please know there are many people here who are willing to support you during this time. You can call our helpline on 1300 845 745 between the hours of 8am and 8pm, 7 days a week. You may also find some of the resources on our website helpful: https://griefline.org.au/resources/

Take care,

Mistonthelake

• This reply was modified 4 days, 18 hours ago by VM-MistOnTheLake.

[nicyoung]

I lost my husband in January this year and after the funeral just as we were walking in to his wake my mother collapsed and couldn’t be saved. I lost 2 of the most important people to me in the space of 10 days. My father passed less than 2 years ago and I have been dealing with that and helping my mum, but I have never felt pain like this. My husband was my person, we were only married 7 years but we loved each other in a way I have never experienced. I feel angry with him for leaving me, but just really miss him so much, and the one person I would go to for support in my mum, has also gone. So hard to keep getting one foot in front of the other sometimes.

[VM oncloudydays]

Hi Donnie, thank you for sharing your experience. It sounds like you have been through a tough grief experience and it is good to hear that you are experiencing feelings of hope and starting to move forward. Just like what you and other users in the thread has described, the recovering journey is non-linear; you can be revisiting previous stages or experiencing multiple stages at the same time. Despite that, it is reassuring to hear that you are making sure to eat and sleep, and allowing yourself patience to move on.

You’ve mentioned that you are still fighting, and I was wondering if you would like to share the coping strategies or strengths that keep you going?

Remember that you are already doing a great job by practicing resilience and self care. It may take time, but you will be there someday.

[donnie]

Hello, my name is Donnie and grief is nothing like any other pain you go through. Everything I have read above is true, the waves and the days that are no so bad and the ones that you wish you won’t wake up from.

It’s all so random and unfair and the pain doesn’t go away. In time it does get “Dialed Down” to a level that enables you to start moving forward.

I’m waiting for that to happen, until then I eat, I sleep, I put one foot in front of the other and repeat. The days feels like ground hog day but I keep on fighting it and just hope there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.

[vmmaggie]

Hi griefline participant
Yes there can be so many triggers that heighten the sense of loss for our loved one. Hopefully in time those ‘unguarded moments’ will become less piercing and we can reinvest in life carrying that bond with gratitude and hope.

[grierline]

I feel exactly how you have described it. It is like a rollercoaster ups and downs. Little things just out of the blue, someone’s walk the clothing that they wear, can remind me and triggers me of the one I miss.

[VM-laura070]

Hi @clthorn6, I’m so sorry to hear about the passing of your husband of 23 years. That is a huge loss and it is so courageous of you to connect on the forum and be seeking more support in your daily life. It’s so important that we don’t go through these times alone because navigating so much change while feeling such intense emotions can be really overwhelming. There’s a lot to deal with and process in the aftermath of losing someone so important, in addition to grieving and trying to adjust to a new reality. I can really feel how much your husband meant to you, how much love you shared and how you relied on each other. Keep reaching out for the support you need and finding others who understand you and your grief. There are a lot of resources on the Griefline website that may help during this time, and it might help to call the Helpline on 1300 845 745 if you feel like talking to someone. There is also this website for Western Australia that may be able to connect you with a support group or services in Perth: https://www.griefcentrewa.org.au/grief-support-groups
Remember that you are doing your best and to be patient with yourself as you move forward through this very difficult time – your world has been turned upside down and it will take some time to feel okay again, but you are not alone.

[VM-The Old Oak Tree]

Hi clthorn6,

I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. It sounds like you meant the world to each other, and shared so many experiences together. I can’t imagine how painful this must be, especially as you are mostly navigating all of this by yourself.

It’s natural to have a hard time coping with such a meaningful loss, especially if it feels like no one is able to understand what it is like for you. I think you’re doing a great job to persevere and be there for yourself, and draw upon your inner strengths.

You might find some of the resources on Griefline’s website helpful. Here is the link for an article called ‘Grief Recovery Part 1: In Search of Lost Strengths’, https://griefline.org.au/resources/grief-recovery-part-one/. You also may wish to register for our online bereavement support groups. Here is the link, https://griefline.org.au/get-help/bereavement-support-groups/. I’m not actually able to recommend a support group in Perth, because we don’t have a referral option for that.

Please feel free to continue to engage through this online forum, and remember to look after yourself. We are here listening to you.

[clthorn6]

I lost my husband a year ago February 17th. I have had no support off anyone and left to deal with everything on my own. We were together 23 years. He was my everything, my best friend, my soul mate, my life, my family, my one and only. Can anyone recommend any widowed groups in Perth? I’m having a really hard time coping with everything. No one I know seems to understand as they haven’t been through it themselves.

[Author]

Replies