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Sudden end of relationship

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  • #21453
    georgia
    Participant

    I had a wonderful relationship with a man that lasted four and a half months. We met on-line and the relationship developed quickly over the phone with it culminating in us speaking twice a day for a number of months. During that time the relationship was reciprocal, nourishing, fun and supportive. We got know each other intimately before we met. When we did meet it was even better. However, it became apparent to quite quickly that he was unable to follow through on much of what he had promised with reference to committing to a long term relationship. I felt hurt and angry and spoke up about this. The relationship ended suddenly and when tried to repair it he ghosted me. A few months later he responded to a request from me to talk about my hurt. We did have a good conversation and then met up one last time. The last time we spoke on the phone I had asked if he wanted to catch up again and he said that he did but never got back to me. I feel clearer as write this about what actually happened. However, since the relationship ended some 7 months (with the most recent contact three months ago) now, I still long for him every day. I have never met anyone like him and I feel that I had waited all my life to meet him. I have had a number of other relationships over the course of my life. I just don’t seem to be able to move on from this one. I felt so connected to him on multiple levels and long for his return.

Viewing 6 replies - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • #21465
    vmzinnia
    Participant

    Hello @georgia, it sounds like you have been through a lot with this relationship. Having people that we care so deeply for come in and out of our lives is such an emotional rollercoaster, it takes a lot of strength from you to be able to cope with this. From what you’ve said the loss of not having him in your life is something that is really devastating. Sometimes that feeling of loss never goes away completely but over time it can be something that we’re able to cope with.

    I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about what you are going through here on the forums. It is a supportive community. You said that you feel clearer about what happened from writing your post, that sounds like talking about it or writing it down is a helpful thing for you? I’m not sure if you’ve already seen this on the website, but it might also be helpful to have a look at this article about relationship loss – https://griefline.org.au/resources/relationship-loss/

    #21474
    georgia
    Participant

    Thank you for your kind and thoughtful response. It really helped.

    #21455
    VM- cookie
    Participant

    Hi @Georgia,

    I’m sorry to hear this. It sounds like you’re sad over the end of this relationship, and frustrated that he was not putting effort into maintaining, and later repairing the relationship. It is normal to feel this way, especially since you had a strong emotional connection with him.

    I’m wondering if the tips mentioned in https://griefline.org.au/resources/relationship-loss/ will be helpful to you as you process the end of your relationship. https://griefline.org.au/resources/east-toolkit/ also has suggestions on how you can take care of yourself during this time- from eating regular meals, participating in activities you enjoy, having healthy sleep habits and spending time with people around you.

    I just want to end this post by acknowledging your strength in reaching out to us. Keep writing and sharing your story on this forum- we’re here to listen. If you would like to talk to someone, feel free to call the helpline at 1300 845 745 from 6am-12am AEDT.

    Take care.

    #21532
    vmzinnia
    Participant

    Hi again @georgia, I’m glad you found the response helpful. How have things been going for you this week?

    • This reply was modified 4 months ago by vmzinnia.
    #21540
    georgia
    Participant

    Thank you Cookie and Zinnia. Both of your responses were extremely validating. I feel safe in this forum because of it. This week has been quite good. I am continue to show up for my life and do a lot of self care alongside missing this man. I am holding both at the same time. I imagine at some stage the feelings of longing for him will pass. However, they are still very strong.

    #22386
    VM-Mancha1
    Participant

    Hi @georgia,

    that’s great that you’ve found this forum so empowering – good news!

    How have your weeks been during August?

Viewing 6 replies - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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