Separation

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  • #16386
    Leigh
    Participant

    I have recently separated from my husband of 33 years. It was completely his decision to leave and came completely out of the blue. I’m so lost and lonely. I have very supportive friends and family who are fabulous at trying to help me stay busy. But it’s night times after everyone has gone home that I really struggle. I’m trying to live my life but I don’t know how to without him. I’m just so sad. Any tips or advice to get through this is welcomed. Thank you

    #16388
    onlinecommunity
    Keymaster

    Dear @Leigh, our hearts are with you at this very distressing time. We are so glad you have reached out to us here on the forums to share your experience. There are many others in the community who will have an understanding of what you’re going through right now.

    You mention you don’t know how to live your life without your husband and this is something many people experience as a result of sudden separation. Our article on Relationship Loss on the Resource Hub puts it this way “many people feel like they are thrown into unchartered waters. They are forced to navigate many disruptions to the rhythms of their previous life.” You might like to read the rest of the article here.

    It sounds like you have lots of good people around you who care and are keen to help. A strong support network such as this is so valuable and is also a testament to your character. When we go through a relationship breakdown we sometimes lose sight of our unique inner strengths. Yet the loyalty of your friends and family shows us that you have many admirable character traits. Perhaps reminding yourself of these will help you to feel stronger and more able to navigate life without him. When you’re ready you might like to give the ‘find your inner strengths’ worksheet a go. Its simple yet effective, and you’ll find it here in our ‘In Search of Lost Strengths’ article.

    In the meantime @Leigh we welcome you to keep reaching out to us here – we are here for you as you navigate this distressing time.🌸

    #16396
    MAM
    Participant

    I feel as you feel Leigh. “it’s night times after everyone has gone home that I really struggle”

    #16397
    Leigh
    Participant

    One of the hardest things is that my husband wants to remain as friends. I’m finding it very difficult to go from being his wife to his friend. We have two children, one 17yo son who still lives at home, so we still have a lot to discuss regarding him and therefore still speak regularly. I would rather have nothing to do with him so I can try to make sense of it and start to move on.

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