Sadness at being apart at Xmas

[Vschiavone]

Hi, I have a son in the army in another state. I have not seen him for 11 months as he usually only gets leave at Xmas. He had planned to stay with us for six weeks over Xmas and January and arrived here on 11 December. Yesterday he had to cut the trip short and fly home due to our Covid outbreak in Sydney. I was unprepared for the terrible pain I have felt since then. I cry a lot and feel overwhelmed. I know it will get better with time but how do you cope when your heart is broken?

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[GL friend]

oh @Vschiavone, im so sorry to hear about this sadness you are experiencing. youre right, the sydney outbreak has caught so many by surprise and affected plans. i hope that maybe you can feel connected with technology with your son. phone call or video chats. maybe write a letter or send a card if possible. i know it’s not the same. nothing replaces the presence of a person.

[GL friend]

i am sending you so much strength at this time, @Vschiavone
we are here if you need a chat

[Vschiavone]

Thanks for replying to my post. I plan to call him tomorrow but to be honest I’m dreading Xmas this year without him. I’ll be glad when it’s over

[GL friend]

Thats understandable. No problem, I always reply! I hope the call makes you feel closer and connected.

[onlinecommunity]

Hello @Vschiavone, welcome to the forums and we hope you were able to find some joy at Christmas-time despite missing your son. The pain you described caused by not seeing him and feeling like your ‘heart is breaking’ is very understandable and a normal human reaction to being disconnected to loved ones at this time.

This link to a recent ABC radio report on the grief and loss Australians are experiencing due to COVID might help give you more of an understanding of the impacts of being apart and being unable to mark celebrations together. We hope it helps you to know that you are not going through this alone.

https://www.abc.net.au/radio/programs/am/grief-helpline-prepares-for-second-wave-of-calls/13009242

Please keep in touch and let us know how you’re going.

[Vschiavone]

Hello everyone. Xmas was not great this year. I did FaceTime call with my son on Xmas morning which was nice but can’t replace being with him. I feel like I’ve been robbed of the usual family closeness we have at this time of year. It’s very hard for so many people who have been separated by Covid restrictions. I’m hoping they open the qld/nsw border soon so we can get together. I really miss my son and it is very hard to be apart.

[Vschiavone]

Hi , I’m really struggling with depression today, feeling terrible and crying a lot. I’ve had depression for a long time and know that it gets better but at times like this it’s hard to believe I will get through this. I have increased my dose of medication a week ago but it takes a while to take effect. Feeling so down, it’s torture.

[GL friend]

hey @vschiavone, im sorry to hear that youre struggling today.
its a hard time at the moment with changes happening suddenly with the borders. i understand. its good to hear that youre looking after yourself and it must have been so nice to facetime with your son even though it doesnt replace being together in person. you keep looking after yourself though. we are here to listen.

[onlinecommunity]

Hi @Vschiavone, sorry to hear that yesterday was particularly hard for you – we’re just checking in with you to see how you’re feeling today?

You mentioned that your depression comes and goes…hoping today was an easier day for you. Have you had a chance to engage in some of the things that make life a bit more bearable and perhaps bring some hope? Maybe you enjoy reading, going for a walk, cooking…or perhaps journalling or meditation helps?

Feel free to let us know how you’re going and what makes things better…we’re here to support you and your experience might help others too.

[Vschiavone]

Hi there. Today is a much better day.I think my medication is working. I’ve been relaxing today, watching Sopranos box set I got for Xmas. Last night had some family over for dinner which was nice. Thanks for checking in on me

[Author]

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