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I usually don’t like to talk about my feelings but I need any support I can, all these reading are so touching & I feel for every person.
I just want to get this of my chest, I have never experienced a loss in my life that I’m so close too & I don’t know what to expect or how I will cope, 3 weeks ago I had the bad news that my grandma won’t be with us for much longer, she has dementia & a weak heart.
Her pace maker for her has stop working & they won’t be able to replace it due to dementia & age. She is at home & it’s always been a fear of losing her for years. It’s my reality now..
I was always so close to her from a young age & lived with her my whole life. She’s is getting weaker day by day & I don’t know how to handle it & prepare myself. Till this day she calls out my name & with dementia she had always remembered me & ask that I’m ok – when my beautiful grandmother still worry about me till this day. My heart is breaking and I feel like my mental health is horrible. I cry every night & have night terrors with the worst panic & anxiety.
I suffer from anxiety and depression before all this, and I’m scared ill lose my sanity she is my everything.
I do what I can but its extremely hard, I’m lost in what to do. I’m crushed & I’m afraid for what is ahead.
How will I cope I’m broken.
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