Lost both parents within a fortnight

[bonbon81]

I’ve just lost my Mum on the 4th December, due to complications post surgery. When I thought grief couldn’t be any harder, my Dad suffered a heart attack just 3 days ago and died. I’ve now lost both my parents so suddenly and I feel so completely lost and broken. I’m so angry and sad all the time, and now Christmas is literally around the corner and I feel like I have to put on this brave face for everyone else. I’m not sure how to get through all of this, I’m so very sad my heart is breaking.

Topic

[vmzinnia]

Hello @bonbon81, I’m so sorry for your heartbreaking and sudden loss of your parents. I hear you when you say you are feeling angry and sad all the time. Christmas can also really heighten these emotions of grief. I am glad that you have found the forums as this is a supportive place to share and connect. I wonder, how is it that you are managing to get through each day at the moment? Coping after such a recent loss can be so hard and it can just be about focusing on how to get through each morning, afternoon and night to make it to the next day.

You mentioned you are feeling like you have to put on a brave face for everyone. It is ok to go at your pace at the moment. I have included a link below to an article with some tips for rest and relaxation when we are grieving. I just wanted to highlight the first two points. The first tip is stay connected – and I am so glad you are here on the forums. We are also here for you through telephone support. Please call the helpline if you feel like talking to someone, it is a space just for you. If we can’t answer straight away you can leave a voicemail for a support volunteer to call you back. The second point is about being realistic and being kind to yourself. You are going through such a difficult time in your life. Take things at your pace at the moment and focus on what you need to get by each step of the way.

Tools For Rest and Relaxation

[leighstott]

I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my Dad on October 21 and then my Mum suddenly passed last week. I feel responsible for both of their deaths as I should have had them in hospital.

I know how you are feeling. My heart is completely broken too. It’s so incredibly hard to know how to live again.

I am feeling for you and I know the pain is excruciating and unbearable. Everyone is having their Christmas parties and holidays and you are in this horrible state of grief.

I want you to know I know how you feel and i am thinking of you. How are you coping now?

[ilovchat]

Hey
Can I ask why do you feel like it’s your responsibility to feel ok for others?

I found grief is a journey that is unique for everyone. Even if the same person losses two people, both losses can be different experiences. People has different relationships with each other which makes the experience with each loss could be different.

You are allowed to feel what ever you are feeling when ever you want to. You are the one who controls and owns your emotions.

[Author]

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