I lost my dad to cancer in December 2020

[jpud]

I miss my Dad more than I ever thought possible, imaginable & long to hear him talk to me again, just one more time. I miss you Dad

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[onlinecommunity]

Welcome to the forums @jpud. Our hearts go out to you for the recent loss of your Dad. Your message so clearly expresses your anguish and heartache. It also speaks of an incredible connection between you and your dad and immense love. Yesterday we posted this quote by Jamie Anderson on the ‘Helping Hand’ topic;

“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go”.

Perhaps this resonates with you?

It seems you are experiencing intense grief right now. And we understand your desperate need to hear his voice. Perhaps one way to help ease the pain is to form a different kind of connection with your Dad. In our article Coping with Grief on the Resource Hub we provide some suggestions for Continuing the Bond. Things like “Write them letters. You can share your ups and downs, ask for advice, seek forgiveness if you need. Many people also answer as they think their loved one would, which can be very soothing and helpful.”

@jpud, this is a warm and caring space for you to share more about your dad and your grief experience – we are here to listen and offer support. Perhaps you’d like to take a look at SadDaugther2021 posts. She too lost her beloved Dad and today’s post might give you a little bit of hope for finding some peace.

We are here for you. 🌸

[j.sinclair84]

I also just lost my dad 3 weeks ago to cancer at only 64. My heart feels so empty. I feel like a part of me has been taken away & I’m not coping at all. My two boys 6 & 7 miss theyre poppy dearly.

[onlinecommunity]

Dear @j.sinclair84 welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing your loss experience with our community. Our hearts are with you at this devastating time.

Losing your Dad at his young age is so difficult – you describe your heart feeling ‘empty’. Sometimes it’s reassuring to know that you are not alone in your grief response. Feeling numb – even in a state of disbelief is a common reaction in the early days following such a profound loss.

Having your boys grieving for their Poppy adds another layer of pain for you. As parents, we want to fix things for our kids. Unfortunately, this is the one thing you are unable to fix. However, by talking about it with your boys in an open and sensitive way the three of you will feel less alone in your grief experience. You’ll find more information about grief and loss for children and adolescents here on our resource hub.
With such a lot on your plate, it’s also really important to be kind to yourself and to treat yourself with patience and compassion. Give yourself permission to not cope even just for a little while – by asking others for support. Allow yourself to be ‘held’ by others in these early days as you get yourself back on your feet.

@j.sinclair84, please keep reaching out to us here on the forums…we are here for you. 🌸

[Author]

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