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Dear Sodawater19 , I’m sorry to hear about the grief you are experiencing regarding the partner you haven’t met yet and have always longed for. It seems you have been truly hoping for such a connection by now. I can read between your lines how painful this experience is for you right now. Naturally, this situation would leave you feeling lonely, but it also seems that you seek to understand this circumstance and have precious hope for things to change. Perhaps you can continue to reach out and connect with social sources where you can meet the partner you are longing for. I hope you have a special friend or family member with whom you can share these feelings. You can also call our helpline on 1300 845 745 if you’d like to talk to an understanding human in person about your experience. This article may also shine more light on understanding your experience: https://griefline.org.au/resources/loneliness-and-isolation/. I wish you all the very best moving forward.