Reply To: Sad. TW: Stalking, Suicidal Ideation and Possible DV.

[vm-peacelily]

Dear @gurundjiwoman,

Thank you for sharing your struggles – a broken heart and regret are not easy to deal with, and I see your courage and strength in reaching out to different sources of support even when your family may not be as supportive as you would like. That you have the strength and resourcefulness to do this tells me that whatever impact others may have on you, you are still your own person and have your journey and story to write and live out!

Sometimes our hearts take us places we cannot always understand or explain, and our values do not always coincide with those of our family or friends. I was previously in love with someone who did not take care of my heart, and it took me years to get over them, and to accept that they were not good for me. Sometimes it’s the person themselves, sometimes it’s their circumstances that we cannot control. While those years in my own journey were full of despair and depression, I look back now (ten years later!) seeing it with new eyes and realizing it has shaped the person I become, and made me perhaps more understanding of others.

I think it’s brave and smart that you’ve recognized that his ex-wife could be dangerous and certainly unhealthy for you, and that you respect yourself enough to want a life where you are treated well and validated. It’s also easy sometimes to tell ourselves that we could have done better to make things work, but it also sounds like he could have done better by you!

We cannot always see what lies at the end of the tunnel, but taking one step and one day at a time will get us closer to new perspectives, new opportunities and definitely better people. I found in my darkest moments that holding on to the smallest things helped, and these continue to give me joy: when the sky is sunny and warm, or an adorable animal, or a good song with lots of meaning.

You’re not alone here, give yourself time to heal. We are here if you need to talk to someone.