Reply To: Sad. TW: Stalking, Suicidal Ideation and Possible DV.

[vmremember]

Hello @gurindjuwoman

When I read your journey I simply thought wow you have had to experience so much for a young woman in her twenties. We never know who we will meet and the impact that person can have on our life but when you feel for another person and when you are attracted to another person all sensibilities leave us at times as we desire to be loved and to be with that person. That is what I heard, is that right?

Relationships with other people can be complex at times and it sounds like you have found that to be the case with this man with who you have feelings and now you are finding it hard to move forward. This is known as a stuck state that we all experience at different times in our life journey. The rumination (going over and over) events and thoughts are what get us stuck in the thoughts and emotions that we experience. How do you become unstuck? It sounds like you are positively trying to work through what has happened with other professionals, but as you indicated sometimes not everyone who is trying to help is the right fit for you. You need to keep exploring and seeking out those professional person/s with who you can build a healthy therapeutic relationship.

Some suggestions that may help you with your stuck state: 1. create a positive mantra so you break the cycle of negative thoughts that you may be having e.g. I am able to find a positive path for me, one that is good for me; 2. mindfulness meditation has shown to have positive benefits on the brain e.g. to calm, improve attention and when you practice 3 ten minutes sessions a day it has been shown to have good benefit and effect for people. There are many free apps with meditations such as insighttime app; 3. be kind and gentle to yourself and practice self-care to nurture your inner being.

Certainly, the pain you are experiencing from this relationship and the grief and loss you are experiencing is real and you may continue to experience this pain until you have either healed from the experience or found comfort elsewhere.

As a gurindjuwoman have you been able to speak or seek advice or support from a female elder? Have you heard of 13YARN – 139276 it is a first nation people helpline for individuals in crisis or in need of support?

The Griefline website has some information that may help you. We also offer book call sessions which you can book from our website if you are wanting additional support for the grief and loss that you are experiencing.

You are not alone during this journey, it will take time for you to heal this pain that you are experiencing.
Keep in touch so we can reach out to you with support.