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@missjedi I am sorry to hear about the relationship breakdown within your family. It can be so hard when you are put in a position by someone you love where you feel you do not have an option or time to process what is happening as it sounds like you felt that is what was happening.
It is good you have a psychologist to speak with and gain advise from. Has it helped you to be able to draw those boundary lines with your son and tell him how you feel? Sometimes, even if the other person does not respond to us straight away, they may need time to think about our words.
It does sound like your psychologist has given you some good techniques to practice for when you cant sleep or when the grief perhaps gets a bit intense for you. Are these helping you with sleeping or would you like a few links from our webpage?
I think it is beautiful and a real show of character strength on your behalf that even if you are met with a hostile response you are still reaching out and showing you are not letting go of the relationship from your end. A parents love for their child is a wonderful gift and so special an endless love.
Keeping that door open for him to come back is a wonderful way a mother always shows her unconditional love to her children.
You mentioned this is hard for your husband to discuss what is happening. Aside from your psychologist do you have close people in your life supporting you that you can talk with openly?
I know it doesn’t always seam like a big thing but to have your dog with you, in moments like you expressed above, can be the greatest blessing. Sometimes a wet nose and furry dog cuddle can say ‘I Love You’ in a million ways. I am glad you had your dog with you when you really needed that extra love.
All the best Missjedi for you and your family