Hello @bonbon81, I’m so sorry for your heartbreaking and sudden loss of your parents. I hear you when you say you are feeling angry and sad all the time. Christmas can also really heighten these emotions of grief. I am glad that you have found the forums as this is a supportive place to share and connect. I wonder, how is it that you are managing to get through each day at the moment? Coping after such a recent loss can be so hard and it can just be about focusing on how to get through each morning, afternoon and night to make it to the next day.
You mentioned you are feeling like you have to put on a brave face for everyone. It is ok to go at your pace at the moment. I have included a link below to an article with some tips for rest and relaxation when we are grieving. I just wanted to highlight the first two points. The first tip is stay connected – and I am so glad you are here on the forums. We are also here for you through telephone support. Please call the helpline if you feel like talking to someone, it is a space just for you. If we can’t answer straight away you can leave a voicemail for a support volunteer to call you back. The second point is about being realistic and being kind to yourself. You are going through such a difficult time in your life. Take things at your pace at the moment and focus on what you need to get by each step of the way.