All dear grievers here, my friend Moon,
Checking up on anyone who may want to let me know how your doing, and helping you to know I’m always here to empathise with you in these hardest of times…. As for me! I’m struggling!!!with so many aspects of my loss of my Sayge, we have been together everyday since I first held my baby girl and I can’t see how to get through this, I’m finding the unbearable loneliness crushing and don’t have really any moments where it’s not. I’m thinking about all those that could be helping my family, and I’m so saddened by their complete lack of care for us, and so tired of trying… but also I’m realising it’s that the unbearable absence of my Sayge is unbelievable, honestly unbearable for me….I know I’m a very emotional person, I’ve cared and loved incredibly deeply and now without her love her sustenance it’s feeling so desperate.
I wonder if I can even survive this loss, my husband and son are really sad also but they are able to function, this just makes me feel even lonelier and I’m feeling like a burden, too sad, now I’m struggling with so much fear of the future and now I don’t know even what my role could be, also as there is no one around me who seems to understand I wonder if I’ve anything left to offer anyone anymore, I feel so done! And exhausted from all the heartache….
I’ve tried to reach others by making notes to put up at the shops, and it’s so disheartening that no one’s responded and probably won’t, friends have all deserted us, they weren’t around for long, certainly don’t ever call unless I prompt them, I just don’t have the energy or care anymore to try, you just end up feeling that nobody cares and that’s were I’m at….it really could make a difference if people were more compassionate (to suffer with) but I just think now there all so damn selfish and won’t even try!!!
So I’ll just keep weeding, planting, Archer is doing a lot of building and gardening with me, we just keep vaguely hoping something will come, but who knows, we’ve and all of us here!! Are suffering the worst and everyday feels like a marathon…
I’m just sharing, hoping to hear from some of you, and being honest with you all, we need the help of each other, I sure do
XxMuch love to you all… enduring yet another hard day, thankyou for listening to me.