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Reply To: My sweet Sayge

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Home Forums Loss of a loved one My sweet Sayge Reply To: My sweet Sayge

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debsayge
Participant

Hello dear hurting inside people,
Hi dear Moon, thankyou so much for thinking of me, means so much, I am often thinking about you as we seem to sit outside a lot. I don’t even feel the cold, just feels closer to Sayge, being out with the frogs and the nature sounds she loves so much, and the garden of course which the kids and I tended together so joyfully….
I’ve actually been having a really dreadful time as what I believed to be my closest friendship has blindsided me with an abandonment which I just can’t fathom!! So here am I with the loss of my Sayge and this on top has been pretty close to destructing me, when a friend calls you sister and tells you your her family (for 8yrs) and your at your most vulnerable point in life ever! And they just go, without any explanation!! I mean wtf is that… so that’s where I’ve been and have cried in much disbelief since….have managed to rationalise now that god I’ve lost so much more and who cares, and let it go.
Still cry everyday, mornings and night are the worst, things just keep knocking me around, My Archer is my best support, we just with Andy too go very quietly and slowly though these hardest days.
So I due to all that’s happened not much energy for the weeding although I keep trying. Our garden is sadly so beautiful.

So compassionate friends for you I think would be a great help, as it is focused on the loss of your child and every person there is a bereaved parent, for me I do have a CF who I’m in touch with but now her hubby is gravely Ill with the same our children had and I don’t have the confidence to seek out another or go to a group at the moment, also it’s too far away from us,I’d need to travel 2hrs, I had wanted to do things as a family (as we always have) and at one group (the one time we went) was a distressed mumma graphically describing her child’s suicide, which with Archer listening beside me I felt was just adding to his trauma and haven’t wanted to go back. Anyway that’s my experience, if it was just me I’d probably go as I know they are are very welcoming and helpful group, the magazines are helpful to us.
Thank you all for listening and dear Moon love to you always
XxDeb

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