Hey Deb, grievingmumma, wish I could just sit next to you, stare at the fire together in silence, but with a knowing glance, a shared tear.
Yes, it feels so very lonely in this, it’s my comfort knowing I will be heard here. I don’t look anywhere else, only those who have lost a child can truly get it.
I have lost parents, other loved ones, but this !!?? no way, absolutely cannot deal, will not ever, and honestly have no expectation to.
A mothers’ heart is born with her child, that first smile which is uniquely for you, all those moments embedded and entwined are alive as ever for me.
I’m trying my best to reframe my dreams with happy memories, but still lie awake in the early hours remembering our last moments together.
Grateful I have a pets that need feeding, otherwise not much motivation to welcome another day without my son.
I know and expect to burst into tears every morning, it’s just physical, has to happen so I don’t deny it, but have noticed I can manage to make a coffee first, even open the bedroom , his included, with a little less heartbreak, cause I trust he’ll send me a hello again soon, as will your dear daughters xxx