Home › Forums › Loss of a loved one › How to navigate Early Grief, Lost my 6 year old daughter 3 weeks ago. › Reply To: How to navigate Early Grief, Lost my 6 year old daughter 3 weeks ago.
Moon, that is beautiful, I’m reading her book right now. She really ‘gets it’, and says it so beautifully.
Deb, I can hear your raw pain and anguish in your words, and I feel that too.
I am a hollow shadow of a person, a ghost as much as my daughter. But, seemingly my husband and boys are doing fine. I know they are sad, but they are getting on with life. I’m just incapable of it. They go to school & work, they bush walk and go to the beach on weekends, see friends. He suggested we take her car seat out of my car so we’d have more room. How can he even think it? How?
I wear my pajamas and cry in her room, holding stuffed animals and old clothes. But I can’t make myself be any different. And I think that’s okay right now.
My friends don’t understand, how could they? They are always there to try though, which means so much. But really I’m alone. Alone in this deep grief. This world ending grief.
Your daughter Sayge sounds lovely, I can hear how much you love her. My daughter, Scout, used to always rush out to help me fold the laundry (never ending), she was helpful and full of love. She was always drawing colourful pictures, and notes to me, I’m still finding them around the house in drawers and notebooks. She’d whisper in my ear at night “You are my favourite person.. I love Daddy too, but you are my favourite.” and she is mine too. My most favourite person. That’s who I lost. It doesn’t make sense, and I can never ever be alright with it.
I feel like wherever she is, I should be with her. A mother should be with her child.