Home › Forums › Loss of a loved one › How to navigate Early Grief, Lost my 6 year old daughter 3 weeks ago. › Reply To: How to navigate Early Grief, Lost my 6 year old daughter 3 weeks ago.
Thank you for all the supportive responses. I have to say this.. while I appreciate your sentiment childatheart, and I can hear that you are trying to help lessen my pain, or assist me through my grief.. I have not loss my parents.. so I will not pretend to know your grief. But I am talking about my daughter.. a six year old little girl (well, just six as she turned six three days before she died).
A baby that I hoped for, and yearned to have.. nursed at my breast. Held when she cried. Sang songs too, taught to swim, braided her hair. Kissed her knees when she’d fall over. A real person. With best friends, likes and dislikes, dreams and hopes for the future. She wanted to be a doctor, a mother.
She will never have a first kiss. Graduate from high school. Learn to tie her shoelaces or read a book. She embodied joy and life. She wanted to play, and love, and travel.
You speak about anger, and how it doesn’t serve to sit with it. And wondering why it is “their time”. It was NOT her time. And I am angry.. and it is right that I should be so.
My love for her was unmeasurable.. so it makes sense that my grief is the same. I am angry that there are cars on the road, people go to work. I am angry that there are classrooms of Preppies all over the world, filled with ALIVE children. You act like there will ever be a time when I will sit comfortably with the fact that my beautiful, sweet, smart girl is not breathing. I will not.
It is unnatural and wrong for your child to die before you. Now I am facing a lifetime sentence of pain and agony. I’m having a lot of feelings, anger and unfairness is definitely in the mix. Despair and hopelessness is in there too. It is right that I am feeling this, it is a testament to the incredible love I hold for her. It would be unnatural to not feel it.