Reply To: How to navigate Early Grief, Lost my 6 year old daughter 3 weeks ago.

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Home Forums Loss of a loved one How to navigate Early Grief, Lost my 6 year old daughter 3 weeks ago. Reply To: How to navigate Early Grief, Lost my 6 year old daughter 3 weeks ago.

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childatheart
Participant

Hi grievingmum,

My condolences to you for your loss. Although I may not be able to relate to your situation exactly, I can tell you that my father passed from stomach cancer and so in those terms I relate to your situation with the hospitals and the constant treatments.

My father was on chemotherapy and then radiology after having major surgery and neither were working. There was some new treatment that had been on trial that had so far proven to be a success on many of the trail patients. My fathers doctor said that there was an opportunity for him to be one of the first people to try the treatment after the trial. They said it would done fairly and a name would be randomly generated by a computer to determine who was the lucky one. The computer picked my father… this is it we thought the light at the end of the tunnel. Sadly some time after being on the new treatment we got the news that it wasn’t working. I remember feeling so angry in that moment wondering why would the universe give us a green light only to give us a red one the next. I mention this because of how you spoke of not understanding why your daughter was fine one minute then not the next. I was looking for answers then so angry so sure that it was going to be our ticket out to freedom and good health but sadly it wasn’t. I was even angrier when my father passed shortly after my mother.

I spent a lot of time sitting in that anger, trying to find answers of why they died why it was “their time” and the truth is that we may never know why they passed or why we were given hope only to have it taken away the next. I understand your frustrations but please try to not stay too long in the anger because the truth is we just don’t have the answers to why and if we put all our energy and focus into that one thing, it makes the healing process harder and (in my opinion) we end up turning that anger on ourselves which only serves to make matters worse.

Your daughter was an amazing gift to each other you were the whole world. Nobody and nothing can change that and nobody can take away the love that you have for her. Times are tough and the days are rough I know, but I want to quote my favorite movie the crow “when the people we love are stolen from us, a way to have them live on is to never stop loving them.”

Sending my love and my thoughts are with you during your difficult time. <3 <3

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