Dear @Shellbell, welcome to the Griefline forums. Our hearts go out to you for the multiple sudden and traumatic losses you have experienced; the passing of your beloved mum, the changes in your traumatised Dad and the life you had with your parents and boys before the accident happened. It is such an awful lot to have to deal with, it’s no wonder you feel like you’re ‘going insane’ and struggling to breathe most days. These thoughts and feelings are synonymous with such intense grief and loss – and though the shortness of breath might feel frightening and even unbearable, it can be reassuring to know that the grief felt in our body is a way of helping us identify our emotions.
Part of grief work is naming these feelings in the body, linking them with the emotion that it accompanies, and identifying when and why they are triggered. You can also take it a step further by staying with the feelings even if only for a brief time as this can give you a sense of mastery over them. While it might seem impossible right now, it also helps to know that your emotions and reactions will soften and become much more bearable over time.
Having an escape from these feelings and thoughts would also be very beneficial so you might like to try some of the audio recordings here on our Resource Hub. In particular the Mindfulness track and the Reflecting on Positive Experiences track could be quite soothing for you.
We are also wondering what support structures you have around you to help with the boys and your Dad…do you have family or friends who can take some of the load off you? While it’s clear you have amazing inner strength (shown by your ability to express yourself so clearly on the forums), you are essentially in need of emotional intensive care of your own. Now is your time to call on those around you for help and support. Is this something you think you are able to do?
@Shellbell, we hope you will keep posting and let us know how you are going and what other ways you need support. We are here for you as you navigate this very difficult journey. 🌸