Dear @Dreamweaver67, welcome to the online forums. Thank you for sharing your story with us – you are always welcome to vent here. Our hearts hurt for you on the loss of your beautiful daughter in such a sudden and unexpected way.
It sounds like your grief is a whole-body experience – in your mind “I can’t switch my brain off” and your body “my heart died…it aches every day” and also your emotions “I am severely depressed”. It’s an awful lot of pain to withstand, and yet here you are getting through the days. Like others here on the forums, your strength is monumental.
You’ve gone through so much since your daughter’s passing, which has likely compounded your grief. Including the passing of your family pet – which can be devastating in itself. Please feel free to share the things that have been going on for you – you will never ‘bore’ us. As a community, we want to acknowledge the losses and hardships that you have had to endure.
You talk about crying in the car a lot. Sometimes we feel like no one understands, so we hide away and isolate but sharing our pain with others can be a really healing experience. No one should have to go through this on their own …so if you’d like some tips on ways to so ‘seek comfort and help from others’, please visit the Tips for Coping article here on our Resource Hub.
We know that everyone’s grief journey is different but as you’ve asked for advice, we have some self-care strategies for you. Firstly, you’ve thought about joining a group which is an excellent idea. If you have been unsuccessful in finding one that suits, you are very welcome to email the online community co-ordinator and they will get in touch with you direct; firstname.lastname@example.org
Have you tried journaling? or keeping a grief diary? It might sound tedious but once we start writing it’s amazing how the words just spill on to the page and how therapeutic the process can be. It can give us a better understanding of our grief and what makes it better or worse. Other creative outlets such as art, cooking, gardening and craft are also good ways to express our grief.
Continuing the bonds with our loved one is also very therapeutic…you mentioned you lost some of your daughter’s things in the robbery which must have been distressing. But even a photo of her, something she wrote or made for you or a piece of her clothing can be that special item that keeps the connection between you strong. Many people set up a shrine of sorts in their home – somewhere they can go to whenever they need to think of her, talk to her and feel the everlasting bond between you.
And finally, when your mind is in overdrive, mindfulness can slow things down for you so you might like to try the mindfulness recording here on the Resource Hub.
@Dreamweaver67 we hope you will keep in touch and let us know how you are going or reach out with questions. We are here for you. 🌸
- This reply was modified 6 months ago by onlinecommunity.