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Hello @Vschiavone, welcome to the forums and we hope you were able to find some joy at Christmas-time despite missing your son. The pain you described caused by not seeing him and feeling like your ‘heart is breaking’ is very understandable and a normal human reaction to being disconnected to loved ones at this time.
This link to a recent ABC radio report on the grief and loss Australians are experiencing due to COVID might help give you more of an understanding of the impacts of being apart and being unable to mark celebrations together. We hope it helps you to know that you are not going through this alone.
https://www.abc.net.au/radio/programs/am/grief-helpline-prepares-for-second-wave-of-calls/13009242
Please keep in touch and let us know how you’re going.