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Hello @tobz9988 and welcome to the Griefline forums. Thank you for your courage in sharing your story with our community. At Griefline we support many people who experience grief, loss and loneliness due to the breakdown of a relationship – whether it was long-term or short-term. It might help to know that all of these thoughts and feelings are normal human responses to your situation.
Often when a relationship ends we grieve for the loss of the life we dreamed of having with that person and that can be very distressing. However, by reaching out to our community you have shown a lot of strength and the capacity for self-care. Staying connected to others and expressing our feelings is an excellent coping tool. It helps us to recognise and process our difficult thoughts and feelings and move through them over time.
You mentioned that early on in the relationship the person you were seeing broke it off leaving you devastated, however you managed to overcome it. It might be helpful to reflect on how you were able to overcome that initial devastation. We all have personal strengths that help us get through challenging times and yet we are often unaware of them. It might be bravery, perseverance, forgiveness, hope, humour or something else…think about what it was that helped you then? Try to tap into these strengths to get you through again.
Another coping strategy is to channel our hurt into positive interests such as exercise, getting out into nature, creative pursuits and friendships. Engage in your passions to help you get through. You might even find that over time you have grown from your experience.
Finally, remember to give yourself permission to take things a bit easier right now and to recognise that transitioning out of a relationship takes time. While you feel that you can never trust again this may change over time. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to heal.
Wishing you all the best @tobz9988 – let us know how you’re getting on. You are warmly welcomed here.
