Understanding prolonged grief: when grief doesn’t ease with time

Grief is a natural and deeply personal response to loss. Most people find that, with time, compassion and support, the pain softens, and life begins to feel manageable again. But for some, the loss remains raw and all-consuming, long after others might expect them to be ‘doing better’. This is known as prolonged grief — a term sometimes used in clinical settings to describe grief that remains intense and unrelenting over time. It affects around one in ten bereaved adults and may interfere with day-to-day functioning and wellbeing. 

At Griefline, we know that early, accessible, and compassionate support can change the course of someone’s grief experience. By deepening our understanding of PGD, we reduce the risk of mental ill-health, strengthen community care, and move closer to a future where no one grieves alone. 

This article offers an introduction to prolonged grief, what it is, who it affects, and how to find support — including links to Griefline’s evidence-informed programs for bereaved individuals and professionals. 

How prolonged grief differs from ‘normal’ grief

Grief is the normal and necessary reaction to profound loss. It’s not something to be fixed or cured, nor is there a ‘right’ way to grieve. As an evolutionary and protective response, grief helps us survive, connect, and eventually adapt to life without the person, animal or thing we’ve lost. 

Most people find that, over time, their grief softens. They may still feel waves of sadness or longing, but they gradually begin to re-engage with life in a way that honours their loss while creating space for new meaning, relationships, and experiences. 

However, for some, the grief doesn’t ease. Instead, it remains stuck — raw, persistent, and overwhelming. This is known as prolonged grief. Rather than integrating the loss, a person may become fixed in a cycle of sorrow, longing, and despair. They may feel emotionally paralysed and unable to imagine a life beyond their loss. 

Common experiences in grief – including prolonged grief include: 

• A sense of emptiness or hopelessness about the future
• Frequent thoughts or memories of the person who died 
• Difficulty accepting the death or feeling like it hasn’t really happened 
• Emotional pain that feels intense and difficult to manage 
• Feelings of disconnection, guilt, or longing 
• A sense that the person might return, or difficulty imagining life without them 

These are all normal grief responses, especially in the early days and weeks following a loss. However, when these experiences remain intense, unchanging, and disruptive for many months, they may be signs of prolonged grief — and a signal that extra support could be helpful. 

These responses are deeply human — and so is reaching out for care. 

Recognising the signs of prolonged grief 

While there is no timeline for grief, prolonged grief disorder (PGD) describes a condition in which the pain of loss becomes chronic and disabling. It does not shift on its own but benefits from specialised support. 

Signs of prolonged grief may include: 

• Intense emotional pain that continues long after the loss 
• Persistent yearning for the person who died 
• Feeling stuck in grief or unable to move forward 
• Avoiding reminders of the loss — or becoming fixated on them 
• Emotional numbness or isolation from others 
• Loss of meaning or hope for the future 

These experiences may continue for an extended period of time and begin to interfere with day-to-day functioning or wellbeing. They can also co-occur with feelings of depression, anxiety, or trauma-related stress — particularly when left unsupported. 

It’s important to know that prolonged grief is not a personal failure — it’s a signal that your grief needs attention, care, and compassion.

Who is most at risk of prolonged grief? 

Prolonged grief can affect anyone, but some people are more vulnerable due to the circumstances of their loss or their broader life context. 

Situational risk factors include: 

• A sudden, traumatic or violent death
• The loss of a child or partner 
• Multiple losses or unresolved grief 
• Limited access to farewell rituals 
• Being the primary carer for the person who died 

Personal risk factors may include: 

• Lack of social or cultural support 
• High dependence on the deceased (emotionally or practically) 
• A sense that the death was preventable or unjust 
• A high level of circulating baseline adrenaline i.e. being very stressed before the death (especially true for carers) 
• A history of mental health challenges or trauma 

On the other hand, strong social connections, early access to support, and culturally safe care can all reduce the risk of prolonged grief. 

Identifying these risk factors doesn’t mean assuming someone will develop prolonged grief — but it can help us respond early and compassionately. 

Why early support matters 

Grief is not a problem to be solved, but without support, it can become a source of deep and ongoing suffering. When someone is living with prolonged grief, the pain can be so persistent and overwhelming that it affects their ability to function — at home, at work, and in their relationships. It can also increase the risk of depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress, substance use, or suicidal thoughts. 

Early, compassionate support helps reduce this risk. It allows the individual to feel seen and understood, to process their emotions safely, and to slowly begin making meaning of their loss. Just as importantly, it helps validate their experience — reducing the shame or stigma that can arise when grief doesn’t ‘fit the timeline’ others expect.