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I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Losing someone that close, especially someone who felt like your entire world, is earth-shattering. What you did for her in those last months shows just how deeply you loved her, and it makes sense that the grief still feels so raw. I lost someone very close too, and I remember wondering the same thing- when will it stop hurting this much? For me, it helped to talk it through with someone from Your Online Psychologist. They really helped me understand that grief doesn’t have a timeline and that it’s okay for it to still hurt. There’s a page I found comforting too: Grief and Loss Counselling – Your Online Psychologist. It made me feel a little less alone. Be gentle with yourself, you’ve been through something incredibly painful, and healing doesn’t mean forgetting. You’re still carrying her love with you.
Today I heard the news of my grandads passing, although it was expected it definitely hurts not being able to be there physically but being able to video call him one last time before his passing is an amazing thing. I am concerned about my work because I just came back from a holiday and I’ve taken alot of leave and I would like to go to his funeral which I would need to travel overseas to do and I work 12hrs shiftwork so Im not sure what I am entitled to. Having both my dad and my sister heading overseas but just missing his passing really makes me feel bad and the potential arguments with family that they will have with each other is making me stressed out
A year ago I lost my best friend to cancer. She was 26 years old, a mother of one baby boy. She had been my constant and saviour for years. I have no family but in her I found everything. After two months of being diagnosed, being told she had cancer – she was dead. In the end I was her carer. I helped her shower and dress. I stayed the night at the hospital, watched her baby during the day. Stayed at her parents house. My world evolved around her, she was my everything. It was her birthday last Tuesday. It doesn’t feel easier, the grief doesn’t feel more bearable, less painful. I feel as though I lost everything. When will it feel easier? When will I be okay?
I’m really sorry you’re going through this – it’s such a heavy, heartbreaking place to be. I went through something similar with a close family member, and the grief hit me in waves I didn’t expect. What helped me was talking to someone outside of my circle, I connected with Your Online Psychologist during that time, and it gave me space to work through the emotions without feeling overwhelmed at work or day-to-day. Everyone’s grief is different, but you’re not alone in how you’re feeling. Be gentle with yourself, and don’t hesitate to reach out if it gets too much.
Hi Vixeni,
Thank you so much for sharing what you’re going through. I’m so sorry to hear about your grandad’s diagnosis and the news that he’s moving into end of life care. It’s completely natural to feel deeply hurt and overwhelmed as you try to process this news. I know you are not alone and glad you’ve come to our online community to reach out for support.
What you’ve described with the racing thoughts, it’s very common with anticipatory grief. You’re grieving not only the changes happening now but also the idea of a future without your grandad. It can feel like your mind is constantly on high alert, so completely understandable that this makes heading back to work hard.
If it feels helpful, you might try giving yourself small moments to pause & breathe when those racing thoughts come up. Even taking a few slow breaths or gently grounding yourself by noticing your surroundings can help ease the intensity. It’s also okay to let your workplace know you’re going through a tough time, if you feel comfortable doing so and that feels safe.
Many people have experienced similar feelings, and reaching out as you’ve done here is a brave and important step. If it would help to talk more we’re here to listen and support you. You can call us on 1300 845 745 8am-8pm AEST 7 days per week.
Take care of yourself.
I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss. There really are no words that can capture the pain you must be feeling. Losing a child, especially like this, is absolutely heartbreaking. The grief, the guilt, the shock- it’s so much to carry. It’s clear how deeply you loved him, and that love would’ve meant the world to him, even if it’s hard to see that right now.
Feeling like you’re underwater makes so much sense. I went through something similar and found it nearly impossible to come up for air. I started speaking with someone through Your Online Psychologist – they offer support online, which made it easier for me to open up in my own space. It didn’t take the pain away, but it helped me feel just a little less alone.
Grief like this doesn’t follow a straight line. And when there’s trauma involved, it’s even harder to untangle. Please be gentle with yourself. You’re already doing something incredibly brave by reaching out and talking about it. One moment at a time is okay. Sending you so much strength and compassion.After the cancer diagnosis of my grandad, I was told yesterday that he will be heading towards end of life care. I am deeply hurt by this and I’m not sure what to do? My mind keeps racing thinking about the past present and future that my life will be without him. I wanted to put this here to see if anyone else has experienced this as this is the first time I will be experiencing grief to such extent. I want to head back to work but without constantly breaking down and my thoughts constantly racing through my mind.
Dear @cassie5,
It is so painful to lose a pet. It’s a tough time, especially if you’ve had to make the heartbreaking decision to release them from suffering. The bond between humans and their pets can be incredibly special, and it’s clear that you shared a deep connection with L. Please know that everything you’re feeling right now, the guilt, regret, and grief, is entirely valid and normal.
Life has a way of unfolding in unexpected ways. You could not have foreseen the circumstances that would lead to your dog not getting along with the cats or how much time and energy your dogs would require. Nevertheless, you made sure that L was well taken care of and had a safe space to call his own.
The guilt you’re experiencing over not maintaining the same level of closeness with L in the last few years is a testament to the deep love and care you had for him. It’s natural to look back on the past and wonder what we could have done differently. However, try to remember that the bond between you and L was genuine and meaningful, even if it changed over time.
When we love someone, including pets, we always wish we could have more time with them. This longing is a testament to the special place they held in our hearts. Be gentle with yourself during this difficult time. Allow yourself to grieve and remember the beautiful moments you shared with L, the cherished memories and the love you provided for him throughout his life. You gave him a loving home when he was a stray, and many wonderful years together.
In time, I hope you can find solace in the knowledge that L was a cherished member of your family and that the love you shared with him will always be a part of you.
Grief takes time to process, so be patient with yourself and allow things to unfold in their own time. Reach out to our Helpline (1300 845 745 8am-8pm AEST) if you think a non-judgemental, compassionate conversation with a caring volunteer might be helpful.- This reply was modified 1 week, 3 days ago by .
Cassie 5,
Thank you for reaching out to us during this very sad time for you following the death Of L a much loved and cherished cat.
The loss of a pet is even harder when we the adult have to make the decision to put our cherished pet to sleep on the vet’s advice.
It sounds as if L got a lot of love, care and a lovely home to live in with you and later with you and your partner.
It is so sad to read that you are left with feeling of guilt and regret.
When you are up to it griefline operates seven days a week 8am to 8pm victorian time and some one can talk with you and hopefully ease these feelings you have .YOu are not alone.
Our number is 1800 55 1800 or look up our website as we have a section on loss of a pet etc.
Take care and be kind to yourself as you navigate this difficult loss of L .Dear @dp01
Thank you for reaching out on our forums. I am truly sorry to hear that you have lost multiple close people to you. The compounding of grief is so overwhelming and difficult.
It takes a lot of courage and strength to reach out.
I am sorry to hear it is affecting your diet and sleep.Here are some resources which you might find beneficial:
Please feel free to reach out to our helpline if you feel this would be beneficial. 1300 845 745 available 8am-8pm 7 days a week.
