[holdinghope25]

That’s just the thing, I don’t have any support around me so at the moment with the way things are it’s just a matter of me reaching out to crisis lines trying to get by. It’s been a really rough few days and it’s sent my mental health spiralling out of control, trying hard to focus on spending time with my puppy and just taking each moment as it comes. It gets exhausting when you are living minute by minute. Thanks for the support, it really means alot.

[vm-oscar-at]

You have been through multiple losses and grief journeys with your previous dog companions @holdinghope25, so it’s understandable that the past experiences are impacting the time shared with your new puppy. It’s wonderful that you’ve started to create a bond with the pup, and it sounds like you are both already quite in-tune with one another. Finding the best way to cope through an anxious period can be challenging, and I hope that you’ve built some supports around you throughout your mental health wellbeing journey. The forum community and Griefline volunteers are available to chat in those moments when you need to connect with someone as well.

[holdinghope25]

Hi, sorry things have been really bad for me over the past few days and I’m not coping. I had to take my puppy to the vet for an urgent appointment, it’s baffled the vets which really doesn’t help my anxiety as there’s no answer or treatment that’s a definite cure. They wanted me to leave him there to monitor him but I broke down crying and freaked out cos it brought back all the trauma from when I left my girl there then a couple of hours got the worst news ever. So he is home with me and he has to have an antibiotic cream applied for the next 5 days but if that doesn’t help then they don’t know what’s next. So it’s been very much touch and go.

It’s not what I needed and I really just feel like the world is against me and the I’m not allowed to have happiness.

[VM-Serenity66]

Dear Holdinghope25,

I notice that it’s been a few days since you posted about your concerns for your new puppy. If you feel comfortable to, do let us know how things are progressing for you. Remember that, even though you have many challenges, you also have a lot of experience now. Please reach out to the forum, or to the helpline, if you need some extra support.

[holdinghope25]

So today my worst fears are becoming a reality as something is wrong with my puppy. My anxiety is really getting the better of me, thinking the worst case scenario. Really feeling like i have the worst luck in the world, left questioning what did i do to deserve this, where did I go so wrong, why are bad things always happening to me.

[holdinghope25]

Thankyou for your kind words. It really took alot to take that step to get this puppy but I’m really glad that I did. Having him is life changing for me in so many ways, I struggle with many mental health issues and other health issues so he will be trained in many areas to help support me. He has already learnt alot of the basics and is now learning some tasks to help me with everyday life, he has learnt how to interrupt behaviours that could be harmful to myself and provides comfort when I’m upset and getting worked up. We already have a very strong bond, he sleeps on my pillow every night and is very focused on me.

The bond with each of my dogs has been different, each of them unique and special and i have so many amazing memories to treasure from them all. I’m so grateful to have my new puppy and we are starting to make memories together as we go through this journey.

Thankyou for all the support, it really means alot to me. I don’t have any family or friends to talk to so being able to share here and get support is really helpful.

[VM-Serenity66]

Dear Holdinghope25,

I would like to acknowledge how courageous that was of you, to feel so anxious ahead of meeting a new puppy, then starting the process of bonding with them as a friend and support. It sounds like you are starting to feel the benefit of taking that courageous step. Companion animals, and especially assistance animals, can provide so much more than functional support; companionship, acceptance, loyalty, trust, and also a fresh sense of purpose, as they depend on their human for so much. That process seems to be starting up again for you. No new pet ever replaced an old one. I certainly get that, and miss all my old friends terribly. Each new companion creates a unique and unrepeatable relationship, full of all the curiosity and wonder that you each bring to it. As you move through your sadness at your own pace, I hope you have picked up a new friend to help you along the way.

[holdinghope25]

Thankyou for your reply. It’s definitely been challenging to say the least. I miss my other 3 dogs alot but they at least had full lives with me and I only lost them due to old age, whereas my girl being only 3 it just hits so hard. She was diagnosed with Renal dysplasia when she was 18 months old, she went from being a playful puppy to basically an old dog and it broke my heart to watch the changes in her. I have pictures of them all up with their ashes and I look at them everyday, when it comes to my girl I lost last year the photo makes me cry cos she looks like such a baby and she should have had her whole life ahead of her with me.

I’m trying my hardest to push through the anxiety with my new puppy and he is in training to be my assistance dog. He is doing amazing and at just 12 weeks old has learnt so much already. He brings me so much joy and I’m really thankful to have him, I almost didn’t cos a couple of days before I was due to pick him up my anxiety really kicked in and I just freaked and questioned whether I could go through with it. But I’m really glad that I did, I’m just taking each day as it comes and enjoying the moments with him.

[VM-DC8707]

Dear Holdinghope25

I am so sorry to hear about the multiple losses of your beloved dogs over the last five years, including your young girl who gave so much to you. It sounds like she helped keep you safe during tough times. Losing our pets can be heartbreaking, but I can’t imagine the pain of losing an assistance dog who not only was trained specifically to help you but was also a constant companion. Feeling anxious about the well-being of a new puppy would be natural, considering the multiple losses and the compounded grief you are dealing with. The love and care that you have given to your dogs, and now to your new puppy, are evident to see. Also, I can hear the strength you have in knowing what you need to keep yourself safe. The loss of a pet can be as significant as the loss of a human, yet this is not always recognised by society. The Griefline article ‘Losing A Pet’ has some information that you might find helpful: https://griefline.org.au/resources/losing-a-pet/. The Griefline Helpline is available on 1300 845 745, 8 am to 8 pm seven days a week (AEST), where you will be able to talk to someone about how you feel. Please keep reaching out on the forum as a part of your support network. We are here for you.

[holdinghope25]

Hi all this is my first time posting here. I’ve had to put 4 dogs down in the past 5 years (2 in the same day) and it’s been really tough on me. My girl that I lost last year was actually my assistance dog and she was only 3 years old, that one has hit me the hardest. She was my support when things got really hard and I went through several suicide attempts but she was right by my side the whole time. She was trained to support me and interrupted destructive behaviours and supported me through panic attacks. I was lost without the company and support of a dog, I’ve recently got a new puppy but I’m struggling with the anxiety of something going wrong because of what happened to my last girl. Not sure how to move past this if it’s even possible. My heart is still truly broken from losing my other dogs and I miss them everyday.

[Author]

Replies