[mrob]

The main reason I returned to school was to honour my son. Over two decades ago, just six months after giving birth to him, I began studying to become a social worker. But single motherhood made it impossible to finish. Years later, I was two units away from completing a master’s in public policy when he passed away—just weeks before my final assignments were due. I deferred everything.

Now, I’m back studying both degrees simultaneously, and I’m doing it for him. I know I still have something to offer. I’ve also started exploring volunteer work and fundraising for children—it’s a bit chaotic, but it feels right for now.

One of my proudest memories is from a night out with him. He insisted I meet his homeless friend—the same man I had quietly supported after hours, just trying to do good where I could. It turned out my son had been doing the same, in his own way. That moment made me feel like I wasn’t just raising a child—I was building an army of empathy. He was everything I hoped the world could be.

I’ve always aspired to leave the world better than I found it. And in that moment, I noticed that my son had already started doing just that. I share this because I need people to know—even anonymously—how proud I was, and always will be.

Your story about your sister and your mum resonated deeply. Thank you for sharing something so personal. Grief is so isolating—I found myself turning to academic journal articles to try to understand and analyse how I should feel or make sense of what was happening. I wish I had accessed this platform earlier, because you are exceptional. And I suspect there are others here with just the right words to make this journey feel less lonely.

Each day is a challenge. Tomorrow, I’ll be attending court again—this time for a matter that has added another layer of pain to my grief. It’s been nearly three years of emotional exhaustion, disbelief, and navigating a process that has made healing even harder.

I often feel like I keep losing him—again and again—every time something new hits while I’m already down.

Thank you for holding space for stories like mine.

[VM_coco8]

I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing a child is one of the hardest things anyone can ever go through, and the grief that follows is beyond words. It’s completely normal to feel the way you’re feeling, and my heart truly goes out to you. Not having his belongings to hold onto would have felt like another loss in itself, as those keepsakes often bring comfort.
I can imagine how much it meant to have his friends around in the beginning, and how painful it must feel now that life seems to have carried them forward while you’re still in the depth of grief. It’s kind that they still reach out sometimes, but I know nothing can ever fill the absence of your son, who sounds like he was a beautiful soul, deeply loved by many.
I also hear the weight you carry in supporting your younger son. Children grieve in such different, quiet ways, and I can understand how hard it is to see him holding it in for your sake. You’re right—he is grieving too, even if it doesn’t always show.
I think it’s a real strength that you’ve continued with your studies, even though everything else feels heavy. Keeping your mind engaged is a positive step, but it doesn’t take away from the depth of your pain. Grief like this doesn’t disappear it becomes something we learn to live alongside, while holding onto the love and memory of the person we’ve lost.
You’re not alone in this, even though it often feels that way. By sharing your journey, you’re already helping others who are walking a similar path. Your therapist was right about contacting griefline, there are many people who are in the same situation as you and have lost a loved one. My sister passed away, many years ago and at the time, my parents were so deep in their own grief that, as a child, I tried to keep my pain to myself because I didn’t want to burden them. My mum could see this, though, and she always carried her own heartbreak alongside mine.
Over time, I learned to slowly live with the loss of my sister. Therapy was a big part of my healing journey it helped me work through the trauma and eventually find ways to move forward. It also gave me the strength to now walk alongside others who are experiencing grief.
For my parents, it took many years before they felt they could accept the her death. My mum eventually returned to work and began finding small moments of joy again spending time with friends and family, gardening, and talking about my sister whenever she could. Keeping her memory alive brought her comfort. We kept her photo up at home, and speaking to her out loud often helped my mum feel close to her.
Maybe one day, in your own time, finding gentle ways to honour your son’s memory whether that’s through photos, rituals, or simply talking about him when you feel able might bring moments of comfort too. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve, but sometimes holding onto those everyday connections can help us carry the love forward.

[mrob]

I lost my son in 2022 in a car accident. He was 20, deeply loved, and well known in our community. Since his passing, I’ve been living with intense and ongoing grief. What’s made it harder is that circumstances after his death left me without any of his belongings or keepsakes. I feel like I’ve been robbed of the chance to grieve properly.

In the first year, his friends were around a lot, and that helped. But over time, the group has broken up. Sometimes, they send messages, but I feel like the world is moving on without me. I remain here, trapped in my pain, while everything else continues to move forward.

I’m also trying to support my younger son, who is only 10. He’s grieving silently—I know he’s trying not to upset me, so he feels that he can’t talk about his pain. It breaks my heart to see him carry this alone. We tried counselling, but they could only get him to open up for five minutes per session.

I can’t really work anymore, although I try. I rarely sleep through the night. I can’t even visit my son’s grave. Most days, I stay at home feeling overwhelmed by sadness and disbelief, which negatively affects my health—emotionally, physically, and mentally. However, I chose to immerse myself in my studies and am currently pursuing both a bachelor’s and a master’s degree simultaneously; I found that this helps keep my mind distracted. But I will graduate from one course this year and another next year—I really need to be in a better place before I start my new career.

My therapist encouraged me to call Griefline, but I wanted to try connecting with others first. If anyone has experienced grief that’s been complicated by trauma or loss of control, I’d really appreciate hearing how you’ve coped. I’m hoping to find some understanding or support because I feel like I’m alone in this.

I also hope that by sharing my journey, I might help others who are navigating grief and trauma too. If you’re walking a similar path, I’d be honoured to walk alongside you.

Thank you for reading.

[VM-Johann]

Thank you for reaching out Sezzie, I can imagine the immensity of emotions you must be feeling right now so soon after your mother passing so suddenly, and I’m so sorry for your loss.

The difficulty in engaging in anything, and feeling at a standstill, is a completely normal reaction to what you have experienced. It is also completely normal for other parts of your daily cycle such as sleeping and eating to be greatly affected. Do you have any friend or family supports around you at this time? Sometimes people can find it very difficult to tell those closest to them that their grief is having a profound effect on them, but if you have that trusted network around you it can help take one step in sharing the heaviness.

Griefline has a number of support resources that may help you through your journey of grief, how to ensure you keep looking after yourself and help prepare you for what will be a very personal process – hopefully it might help https://griefline.org.au/resources/coping-with-grief/

If you haven’t had the chance to talk through what you are feeling with anyone yet – please reach to the telephone helpline. It it available 7 days a week between 8am to 8pm (AEST) https://griefline.org.au/get-help/nationwide-telephone-support/

The fact you have been able to reach out on the forum is a good sign of your inner strength to recognise when you need that extra help – that self awareness of your needs will greatly support you at this time.

Please keep connected through the forum or the Helpline, there are many here who have been through similar journeys and will be very willing to share their experiences to make the road ahead a little bit smoother where possible. Take care.

[sezzie80]

I lost my mum suddenly one week ago.
I am struggling to do anything other than watch TV. My sleep is affected as well.
I just don’t know what to do….
Any ideas to help?

[ditzy70]

Thankyou vmmaggie

[vmmaggie]

Dear Ditzy70
So sorry to hear of your recent and devastating loss. It is quite understandable that you are numbed by your grief, haunted by your mum’s image … after less than 6 weeks.
It might be the natural order of things that parents die before their children but the sheer inevitability is no cushion to the pain, soul searching and feeling of rudderlessness that so often follows.

Well done for reaching out to Griefline … Hopefully there are other resources on the website that you may find helpful. It is often assumed that within weeks after the funeral, the bereaved person is fine, ready to resume work and get on with life. However there is no timeline for grief. A conversation with your employer re a degree of flexibility to your role in the short term might also be worth considering.
Taking care of yourself – eating (even if only small amounts), exercise and sleep are important plus giving yourself permission to grieve and share memories with others are small steps towards a form of healing
Kind regards

[emma32]

Letting go of things belonging to loved ones is tough. Many take time, sorting memories gently before deciding what stays or goes. Sometimes, people even gift items like an old iptv box to friends, helping ease the goodbye while keeping memories alive. It’s all about healing.

[ditzy70]

I lost my mum on the 1st of June this year. I had tried calling her over two days and was starting to get worried why she was not answering. We live a about an hour drive away. I had this sickening feeling that things were were not ok. My fear of finding her was heightened.
I arrived at her home and the door was open and the radio going. I went in as she had not locked the front door. The house was ice cold, I found her on her bed.
I can’t get that image out of my head. I shook her telling her to wake up but she was stiff and cold. I went outside to my husband and he knew by my face that she was gone.
I thought I was ok after nearly 5 weeks off and back to work but clearly, I am not. This week I realised that I have not grieved enough and am back feeling like it just happened again.
I thought that keeping myself busy would help but I think that I have made it worse. Any ideas or thoughts would be appreciated.

[VM-angel33]

Dear @maried1

I am so sorry for the loss of your sister. It’s so difficult, heartbreaking and unfair when we lose someone so close to us and I am so sorry that you are dealing with this.
Keeping their possessions to us can be so helpful and I am glad that her blanket provides you with comfort and feeling close to her.
I can hear how difficult sleep has been, how painful it has been, how difficult it has been to get out of bed and keep going.
I can hear self blame as well, please know that you did everything you could and you sounded like such a generous carer and guardian.
I am sorry to hear about the fall and the failings of the medical professionals, I can’t imagine how difficult that would also be to deal with and the severity of her injury.
Losing someone unexpectedly is deeply shocking and upsetting.

Please know that Griefline’s helpline is here to listen. We are available 8am-8pm Monday-Sunday. We also offer support groups and online forums, which I can see you have connected to.
If your mental health is struggling, speaking to a mental health professional can be helpful too or reaching out to a service such as Beyond Blue can be helpful as well. Wishing you all the best. We have some information on our website about coping which could be helpful too.

When a loved one dies: a guide to coping with grief and loss

Dealing with Insomnia

A gentle guide to self-care after loss: The E.A.S.T. approach

Mindfulness for Grief

[Author]

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