Widowed by cancer

Resize text-+=

Home Forums Loss of a loved one Widowed by cancer

  • This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 1 month ago by VM-evie.
  • Creator
    Topic
  • #34250
    emmac
    Participant

    This week will be two years since I lost my husband to cancer, and eight months since I lost my Mum (also to cancer). I have been helping my Dad move house which has been very draining. I feel terribly overwhelmed by life and am struggling to function. Even the things I used to enjoy (like looking after my dogs) now just seem like a burden. Everything seems too hard and life without my husband or my Mum seems unbearable. I am losing hope that life is worth living.

Viewing 2 replies - 1 through 2 (of 2 total)
  • Author
    Replies
  • #34262
    VM-pink1
    Participant

    Hi @emmmac,
    Grief can definitely feel overwhelming, coming at us in many different aspects including leaving us feeling like functioning is a struggle. Loosing multiple loved ones ( cumulative grief) is so hard and I can get a sense from your words just how close of a bond you had with your husband and Mum. Anniversaries are particularly tough too. It is a time to reflect on your needs and be ok with changing your mind to suit them. These things can be very hard to talk about and you are so courageous for opening up. I hear you say that you are ‘losing hope that life is worth living.’ Please consider calling 000 if you find yourself in crisis. Or, Lifeline on 13 11 14.
    If you would like one of our volunteer phone supports to sit with you as you share your grief please call us anytime, 7 days, from 8am to 8pm on 1300 845 745.
    Here is a helpful article on tips to cope. Everyone experiences grief differently so the key is finding what works for you (this does not have to be the same as someone else’s ways).

    Coping with Grief


    You are not alone. Sending you armfuls of compassion. Please reach out anytime…

    #34263
    VM-evie
    Participant

    Hi @emmac
    I am so devastated for your loss of both your husband and your Mum. I cannot even begin to imagine how hard this has been for you. Thank you for sharing your pain with us here. Telling your story is such an important part of the grief journey.

    I want to acknowledge what a challenging experience it must be to help your Dad move houses while you are going through so much and how much inner strength it must take. A task like moving houses is draining at the best of times let alone when you are going through so much grief, so it is completely understandable that you are feeling so drained right now.

    It is this inner strength that you can draw on to get you through these dark days. It sounds like right now you are feeling a sense of hopelessness and don’t see the meaning in life. Maybe you are being too hard on yourself? Remember that grieving and processing everything you’re going through is not meant to be easy. Allowing yourself to feel the sadness, pain, hopelessness and all the other feelings is an important part of the grief journey. And it’s really hard work. It is overwhelming and draining and very distressing. So please remember to be kind to yourself.

    These feelings are difficult, and while it is hard, looking after yourself during this grief can help. How is your eating and sleeping? Are you getting any exercise or fresh air throughout the day? Focusing on these basic things are so important for getting you through this part of your grief journey. You might like to have a look at this resource about self-care after loss: https://griefline.org.au/resources/east-self-care-guide/
    You might also find this resource helpful. It is about focusing on inner strengths and resilience: https://griefline.org.au/resources/grief-recovery-part-one/

    You have already showed so much strength in reaching out on this forum to share with us. Talking to others about how you’re feeling and coping (or not coping) is a really important part of grieving. We are grateful that you have used this space to share your story and hope you will continue to do so. You are also welcome to call the helpline between 8am-8pm everyday on 1800 845 745 if you would like to chat on the phone to a volunteer. We are here for you.

    You mentioned feeling like life has no meaning and I want to make sure you know that this is a very normal thing to be feeling as you navigate your grief and loss. Sometimes those feelings can lead to thoughts of suicide which can be frightening, confusing and isolating. If that is the case, please know that there are supports available. Lifeline is a great service which operates 24/7. You can call them on 13 11 14 and they will be there to listen and support you. You can also text them on 0477 131 114.
    Take care,
    Evie

Viewing 2 replies - 1 through 2 (of 2 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

Subscribe to our newsletter

Enter your details to stay up to date with our news and programs. You can unsubscribe at any time.

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.