Loss of a Loved One

[onlinecommunity]

Welcome to a place to discuss the loss of a partner, family member, close friend or anyone significant in your life.

Everyone grieves differently. Your grief is as unique as your own fingerprint. However, while often immensely painful, grief is our natural healing process in response to loss.

Grief comes and goes, it can be intense and then manageable, predictable and then uncontrollable. It might be brought on by a recent loss or a historical one, be triggered by an anniversary or the dread of an approaching milestone.

This forum is a safe and emotionally supportive space. It is a place to be accepted and understood by others who can empathise with you. You can feel free to remember your loved one and tell us about your grief journey. Together we can learn to understand the changing nature of grief over time while sharing coping tools and ways to practice self-care.

Topic

[leer]

Dear @creativeguy

I am so sorry to hear that you have lost your mum, especially after taking care of her so closely. You must feel drained. Grief is hard to get over so you will need to do as much self care as you can. Try to take deep breaths and go for walks and find something you like to do. I hope you have a close friend to share your grief with. Thank you for sharing. I pray you can find peace and happy memories.

[VM-flowerbear07]

Dear @creativeguy,

I am so sorry to hear you lost your Mum. I can see that as she was your only family, and from you supporting her through her cancer four times, that you were very close. Incredibly difficult as it is, it is normal to feel these intense feelings of grief. It can feel hopeless and hard to cope. It is courageous of you to share your feelings and show vulnerability, and I am glad that you have reached out. It is so important to look after ourselves when we are feeling this way. This can look different to different people (I have attached a link to self-care strategies; I found it so useful when my Nan passed. I hope you do too). Getting professional help is a great place to start, as is reaching out on this forum. Here is an entire community who understand what you are going through; we all have our grief story and are moving through it or have come through it. You are not alone in your grief. Keep reaching out.

A gentle guide to self-care after loss: The E.A.S.T. approach

[creativeguy]

Hi Everyone

I lost my Mum. ( my only family ) late this March
We lived together . Last 15 years have been particularly hard with she having X4 Cancers during this time .
I’m Neurodivergent . I’m been in hospital,a few times since .
I am finding it very hard to cope .
It’s been only last few weeks it’s rally hit me she’s gone
As a result things have been worse .
I can’t see any hope at the moment .
I am getting professional help

[VM-The Old Oak Tree]

Dear Leer,

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your best friend. Even though your friend has passed on now, I’m really happy that you shared with someone who you could share safely with and who felt safe to share with you no doubt. Its sounds like you had a really special bond together. I think I can’t imagine how painful this must be for you to lose someone so special to you, but I am listening.

It is perfectly natural to experience many different emotions, and feel very much alone. Especially when you’ve lost someone who sounds like they were the closest person to you. I think it’s also worth recognising though, that 7 weeks is a very short period of time, considering the magnitude of the loss you are experiencing. I am also a private person. Am I’m a fairly quiet person, so I think I can relate to the sense of isolation that I think is coming through from your post.

I know its really early on for you in your grief journey so I feel a bit reluctant to make too many suggestions. However, it might be worth just starting to consider the idea of how you might continue your bond with you best friend now that she has passed physically. For example, a lot of people find it helpful to do things like have a display of photographs, maybe writing letters to her, and doing anything that you used to enjoy doing together. It can be anything at all that helps you to feel connected with her. Within the area of grief and loss, this is considered to be very healthy, when people are ready for it. In time, hopefully the very difficult emotions you are experiencing now will start to gradually give way to fond memories.

I welcome you to the forums, and please feel free to contribute anytime that you would like to. You are also very welcome to call Griefline’s Helpline on 1300 845 745 (8am – 8pm, 7 days (AEDT)), if you would like to have a friendly chat.

Thank you for sharing and supporting other members of the forums. We are here listening to you.

• This reply was modified 2 weeks, 6 days ago by VM-The Old Oak Tree.

[leer]

Dear Charlirix
So sorry you are going through this right now, I hope you do not feel too alone. I know what it’s like when family members do not want to talk to you, it’s hard. I find journaling what i want to say to people and how i feel helps a lot. It gets out of my mind. I keep journaling good and bad things. Not every day, just when I feel overwhelmed. I pray you feel comforted.

• This reply was modified 2 weeks, 6 days ago by leer.

[leer]

Hi everyone this is the first time I have seen this forum and used it. I lost my best friend 7 weeks ago and I think I have experienced every emotion possible including ‘why her? It should have been me, she was a better person and had aspersions but not me’ also it seems like not much to others but I’ll give you some background. I have had some trauma in my life due to various forms of abuse from people close to me so I kept my world small and have trust issues. My friend was the only person who knew everything I went through and never judged me. We share some similar trauma but some different things also. My sister and daughter are the only other people I do life with but only want to connect sometimes when everything is happy happy. They don’t know extent of my struggles and dont want to know. So now there is no one. I have some casual friends and get along well with colleagues but I am a private person and dont want to bring others down. I use a journal a lot and most people dont have a hint of what I’m going through. I get more respect from people when I am strong. Anyway, this is my first ‘journal entry’ here. Thanks for reading.

[VM-Fern]

@wuzzy1990, thank you for posting about the devastating sudden loss of your beautiful daughter. You have suffered what is often described as one of the worst emotional pains: parents are supposed to die before their children and so it feels so unfair and wrong. I have a daughter but also have not experienced losing a child, and so it is impossible to fully appreciate just how devastating your loss is. We might think we know it intellectually, but we cannot fully understand it emotionally. You are so right about support waning after the funeral. This is extremely common as people might think that their “job” is done and so they can move on and assume that the bereaved are also ready to move on. If only….. And yes it is very common for people to not know what to say. They might worry about reminding you of the loss and pain, (as if you can forget that) or fear encountering your deep sadness and not knowing what to say or do about that. Some supportive people who know about this will make extra effort to contact the grieving family in the weeks after the funeral. But not everyone is blessed in having understanding supportive people like that. For this reason I concur with Summer24’s suggestion to call Griefline – not to take away the pain which is impossible at this time, but to support you through it.

[VM-Fern]

Hello @charlirix. This is such a shattering loss for you on top of all the others. Not only have you been grieving for the loss of your relationship with your beloved kids, but you have recently suffered a devastating double loss: first with the death of your son, and second with the loss of any opportunity to reconnect with him. You say that it doesn’t feel real, and that is common after such a shock – the brain protects by numbing down the overwhelming painful feelings. And there is so much loneliness as well losing the relationship with your family. If you are able I’d also suggest you call Griefline, if you haven’t already. We’re there to support you at this really tough time.

[VM_Pinnacle]

Dear charlirix,

I am so sorry to hear abour the sudden loss of your son. I can’t imagine the shock, pain and grief that you have been left with. I just want to ackowledge that there is no right way to navigate grief and that all the feelings and emotions that you are experiencing are valid. I truly hope that your children are able to connect with you as they must be suffering from this loss too. It’s important to know that you are not alone in dealing with this loss, this forum offers a place for others to share their experiences and stories and hopefully you will connect with them too.

I encourage you to reach out to the Griefline Helpline that is open everyday from 8am – 8pm (AEST) on 1300 845 745. There are also resources and articles on the Griefline website that may be able to offer some support and guidance. One such article being that you can access being this: https://griefline.org.au/resources/when-a-loved-one-dies-guide-to-coping-with-grief-loss/

I am proud of you for reaching out and please know we are here you

[charlirix]

Hello I’m not sure where else to go or who to talk to.
I’m a mother of three beautiful children who are now adults. I’m grieving in so many ways and it’s just so heavy right now.
There were messy family court and parental alienation. I figured trust that one day my children will grow up and eventually learn the truth behind the events that took place.
On the second of September 2025 police came to my door to tell me my son now 21 was killed in a motorcycle crash.
My entire family in VIC don’t speak to me, my ex and all our old friends too. I’m walking around in absolute disbelief and it doesn’t feel real. I don’t know how grief works
I hear it’s different for everyone. I started grieving my children years ago and now my beautiful son is gone and I’ll never get the chance to be there for him or know him as I would have hoped. I feel so alone and my heart breaks for my other son and daughter who have lost their brother. It’s so hard right now. My heart is so broken.

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