Loss of a pet

[onlinecommunity]

Welcome to a place to discuss the loss of a pet animal.

For many, the loss of a pet can mirror the grief experienced when we lose a family member. The bonds we make with animals can provide us with joy, pleasure and companionship, and when they die, we can be left feeling deep sadness, isolation and loneliness.

People around us may not associate grief and loss with the passing of a pet and assume you won’t be affected or at least, not for long. This can result in feelings of hurt, anger and resentment and sometimes leads to withdrawal.

This forum is a space to freely reminisce about your pet, share your feelings of grief, discuss its effects on your relationships, and share coping strategies that have helped.

Topic

[Sarah]

It can be really hard if you lose a family pet or a companion pet because sometimes it can feel like no-one understands that you mourn just the same. I wonder if anyone has some beautiful ideas on how to get through grieving for their pet they could share?

[BabyMushu]

I’m trying to cope with losing my cat. He was not even 4 years old. And the death was a shock cause there was no visible signs of anything being wrong. The vet thinks it was a heart attack. He was my first baby. I now have a 18 month old daughter and she and our cat Mushu were the best of friends, they always played gently with each other and she would laugh just by looking at him. Every night he would sleep between me and my partners heads but he always need my arm to put his front paws on. Now everything feels empty and every day feels worse. I don’t know how to live with this loss. I’m in desperate need of some guidance if anyone out there’s has lost a pet they loved like their own child.

[onlinecommunity]

Dear @BabyMushu, we wanted to check in with you following your post expressing your anguish over the loss of your beloved cat Mushu. Our hearts go out to you for your sudden and unexpected loss. He sounds like a gorgeous little furry soul who brought you, your daughter and partner so much affection and joy. We understand that the loss of a companion animal can be devastating especially one that has become an integral part of your family. We hope that you were able to find some solace in @Kerry’s beautiful post in response to yours. She shared some wonderful tips for continuing the bond with a companion animal. In case you missed it, here is the link https://griefline.org.au/online-forums/topic/the-death-of-a-pet-can-hurt-as-much-as-the-loss-of-a-relative/#post-15516 .
You might also be helped by the self-care activities on our Mindfulness for Grief page. They include simple instructions for journaling and mindful breathing along with a meditation by Smiling Minds. Sometimes we look past this type of self-care tool in search of something more concrete when really we need to take the time to be kind to ourselves and allow for some moments of peace. Here is the link to access these.

@BabyMushu, we would love to hear how you are going and whether you have been able to find some light in your days again? We are here for you. 🌸

[vmpepper]

@BabyMushu and @Sarah, I completely understand the emotion involved with losing a pet. I lost my childhood dog to cancer a few years ago and it was incredibly hard as it felt like losing a part of my family. To keep the memory of our dog alive, we hung her collar in the kitchen. This was incredibly healing as it felt as though her presence was still there. I also talked to family and friends about my grief which allowed me to talk through my emotions. Grief is never easy but it’s so important to know that you are not alone. I was wondering if anyone had a similar coping mechanism or new coping mechanisms to deal with the grief?

• This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by vmpepper.

[abby]

Iv just had to put down my dog of 11 years and I’m having trouble because I can’t seem to get the image off my mind of her looking up at me and giving me one last kiss before I handed her over

[abby]

She was sick and wasn’t getting better she originally had an infection and was on medication but didn’t improve at all and we tried for over a week to keep her going but she wasn’t eating at all for that week was having trouble breathing she wasn’t going the toilet at all she could hardly stand and her head had started to bob as well as she had a heart murmur which is what the vet said was the reason to have her put down she was suffering the vet said

[VM-ocean]

Hi @abby,

Thank you for sharing. I’m so sorry to hear about your loss of your dog. It sounds like the last week was extremely difficult for you and her, and that her last moments are really sticking with you. Thank you so much for sharing.

What was your dog’s name? And what was she like?

It can be so difficult when pets die, especially when they are suffering and we need to make the decision to put them down. It can be heartbreaking. We have some information on losing a pet here, and I thought the tips on coping looked very practical:

Losing a Pet

After something this stressful, it can also be helpful to make sure you are taking care of yourself. The self-care resources in this post might be helpful:

EAST – Connecting to Healthy Routines

Thank you again for sharing.
Take care.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 6 months ago by onlinecommunity.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 6 months ago by onlinecommunity.

[vmsunflower2]

@abby @babymushu @Sarah

I’m so sorry to hear you have lost your pets. I too have lost a few dogs and cats, some Ive lost suddenly due to traumatic events that happened to them, and others Ive had to put down due to illness or old age, however one of the hardest things Ive had to do is leave a pet behind because she was unable to come in to this country due to an antibody she had in her blood.It was hard because I couldn’t explain to her that I wasn’t abandoning her, I still have a lot of guilt when it comes to her, but she was ok after we left and has since passed away, I always thought I would be there for that day, but sadly I was not. Losing them is always hard, but I find comfort in that I almost always only have good, wonderful, amazing memories of all of them, and what I find really amazing is that we always have capacity to love another and another and another….

Thinking of all and would love to hear how you are all doing?

[chloe123]

Hi,

We unexpectedly had to put down our dog last week as she was suffering from heart failure. My whole family is having such a tough time adjusting, the house is so quiet without her. I feel bad for my dad especially as she was always by his side and i’m worried that he’s lonely now.

I do feel like a part of my heart is gone and am feeling actual pain in my chest. I just burst into tears the moment I think of her. I don’t know how to cope with these feelings. I feel like it’s hard to confide in friends about the loss of a pet as it’s hard for them to understand.

Not sure what to do.

[italiangirl]

Hi Chloe, I’m so sorry for your loss 💔. My family and I are going through the same feelings as you. We had to put down our 17 year old chihuahua yesterday. She too had heart failure and various other health problems. Nothing can even prepare you for such a decision! We knew it was coming but it doesn’t make it any easier or hurt any less. They are such a big part of our family and we love them so much, that is why it hurts so much when they leave us! I can’t stop crying 😭 and same with my mum and sister. I think we just have to feel these feelings and let ourselves cry without judgment! I think anyone who has ever had,loved and lost a dog can understand and empathise with you. I think there is a stigma attached to losing a pet and that people should simply move on and get over it. I feel that the grief of losing a pet is comparable, if not greater, than losing a relative or friend, so it is important to take our time, to go through the stages of grief and be kind to ourselves.
I miss my little princess so so much and she will always be my little fur baby! She will always be in my heart.

[Author]

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