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Unbearable

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Home Forums Loss of a pet Unbearable

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    Topic
  • #24952
    aksp
    Participant

    I recently lost my cat Lola. She was 10 and diagnosed with untreatable lymphoma. She had medicine that helped her for a little bit but she became a shell of her former glorious self. Making the decision was agony. We had a vet come to the house and she died in my arms. I can’t see how I can ever be truly happy and fulfilled with her gone. I have a great life, husband and young child, I enjoy my job, but the emptiness I feel without Lola is so profound. I am trying to continue on because that’s what the world expects but the hurt is so much. I feel like a burden if I talk too much about the loss with people. Not sure if I have any expectations about being in this forum but perhaps just a space to be heard and understood.
    Lola was my everything. We went through so much together. It was her and I. A package deal. And now she’s gone.
    What on earth do I do without her?

Viewing 6 replies - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • #24958
    VM-monty
    Participant

    Dear @aksp,
    I am incredibly sorry to hear about the loss of your beautiful girl Lola. She sounded like the most wonderful companion who offered unconditional support, joy and comfort. You were both so lucky to have found each other in life, and it really sounds like Lola was a best friend to you. I can’t begin to imagine how painful it must be to proceed without her by your side. I want you to know that it is more than natural to feel so lost without her. The loss of a beloved pet is just as great a loss as any, and I assure you that your feelings of hurt and grief are understandable and relatable (I definitely can). Sweet Lola played such a profound role in your life, so learning to live without her can understandably feel incredibly challenging, and even bittersweet at times. Perhaps you could honour her memory by dedicating a particular place in your home, or garden that was special for the two of you. This might be through planting a tree or framing a picture in her memory. You are welcome to check out this page from Griefline – https://griefline.org.au/resources/losing-a-pet/ which offers a number of different ways to honour the memory of your beautiful Lola, as well as ways to help cope with her loss. From your post, I can see that you are a very strong person who loved Lola so deeply. I just know you played such a powerful role in giving her a beautiful life! Lola was so lucky to have such a compassionate mum to care for, and advocate for her. I hope that you have someone to talk to who can understand the undeniable pain that comes with losing a pet. You are always most welcome to chat with one of the volunteers on the Griefline helpline at 1300845745.
    You are also most welcome to continue to keep in touch through this online forum. Please look after yourself as best as you can. We are here for you and listening to you.

    #24961
    VMKat
    Participant

    Dear @aksp
    I’m very sorry to hear about the loss of your beautiful Lola, and I’m glad you had the strength to reach out. It can be challenging to feel fully heard and understood when you feel like a burden if you talk about your experience too much, so good on you for finding the strength to share your story here.
    Losing a pet can be very hard to process because, although they are not human, they are a full member of the family with whom we share good and bad times and a very close bond, and you even become a “package deal” with Lola. Her loss is especially hard to process because you lost her at a young age when it is generally less expected.
    I lost my dog when she was 18, so her death was “timely”, and I also felt the profound emptiness you’re describing. Still, I can’t imagine how hard it must be to have Lola go so soon and die in your arms after making such an agonising decision to end her suffering. You have made a great start at moving forward by reaching out here, where we are here to receive your whole story and experience.

    #24962
    ayebee
    Participant

    I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my cat unexpectedly 2 days ago and the crying comes in waves. Although surrounded by family, I can’t shake the loneliness – he was always close by. I miss his face. Not sure about the emptiness you feel, maybe you can explain it some more?
    I understand making the decision as well, the guilt, fear…
    My boy died at the animal hospital. I wish he didnt die inside. He had always wanted to go outside but I never let him unless he was harnessed. We stayed with him till the end and spent as much time as we could before the injection.
    I too feel like a burden talking about him all the time. Like a broken record. He was only 8.5 and was diagnosed with early stage kidney failure in Jan this year. Quickly changed to a special diet, placed on medication and a plan to visit the vet for quarterly tests. We were due to visit the vet this month…. I feel anger within myself. Why didnt I notice something more..why didnt I book the vet visit sooner. In the middle of all of this I also had a birthday.
    We have 2 other cats and a 10year old dog however the relationship I had with our ragdoll Prince was something I never had with a pet before. He watched me, waited for me, missed me when I left and the first to greet me when I got home.
    I am glad I know there are others that feel a pets loss so great that sometimes you feel people think your crazy. I understand. I dont know how to help you but take comfort in knowing we may be going through the same struggle. Take care

    #24969
    aksp
    Participant

    Thanks so much for your reply. I am so sorry to hear about Prince. I can relate to the lonliness. The feeling that something so important is missing. I also understand that feeling of almost feeling crazy with grief. I sleep with Lola’s collar under my pillow and initially tried to hide it from my husband because I thought that must be weird. Its this desperate yearning to be close to her in any way.
    We have another cat too, but some animals just have a magic to them. It sounds like Prince was similar to Lola. That innate connection. Something so special that you can’t describe to other people.
    Thank you for sharing your story with me. I am glad I am not alone in feeling all of this.
    Look after yourself!

    #24970
    aksp
    Participant

    Thank you so much for your reply. I was wondering if it was “easier” when they are old and the passing is “expected” but really I don’t think there is anyway these passings can be easier. The emptiness is quite intense at times, isn’t it. Take care!

    #24971
    aksp
    Participant

    Thank you for your reply. I got her a custom made urn that holds a tealight so it is nice to have her resting somewhere special. I find myself wanting to buy everything that I possibly can to be customised with her photo’s or memories. I guess it is just that reaching and reaching for something to connect to still.

Viewing 6 replies - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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