Saying goodbye to my soul mate

[Lissy]

A few days ago i took my gorgeous dog to the vet as he was breathing heavy. And was gagging, i thought something was stuck in his throat.
He was booked to go to the vet, they took him into the vet hospital and when they x rayed his chest, it showed lung cancer. The vet said we could do surgery but his chest was covered in the cancer.

I didnt even know.
That afternoon i had to put him to sleep. It kills me. We were best friends. He was my soulmate and i put him down.
I wanted there to be something more i could do. Why did i have to make this choice in only a matter of hours. I thought i was bringing my baby home. I didnt know it would be my last day. Im shattered im broken.
I hope i did the right thing.

I ended up cremating him and i feel terrible. I feel so guilty. I just want to be done with my life

Topic

[VM – OnAJourney]

Oh Lissy, I am so sorry to hear! That sounds like an awful experience you had to go through. And it all happened so suddenly. I can imagine your brain is still trying to catch up with what happened. Seems like you had to make a very tough decision without a lot of time to really think things through. I think the guilt is quite a common feeling that we have to deal with after making such decision. We always wonder whether there would have been a way to keep them alive or keep them alive for at least a little bit longer. I hope you felt like your vet gave you good advice and you felt supported in your decision. How old was your dear soulmate? And how are you feeling now after a few days? I hope you can slowly accept that your decision was the right one and that you were able to prevent your dog from extended suffering.
Sending lots of love and care…

[VM-Mancha1]

Hello Lissy, I was so touched by your story, I thought I’d see how you’ve been since the day you posted this.

The pain in your words came through, having lost a dog to cancer in the past I know it’s normal to feel so impacted, especially when you don’t have time to adjust to what’s coming. I think it’s perfectly normal to wonder if you’ve done the right thing, our hearts and heads don’t always understand the choice we have to make.

I hope you’ve found some good support in the weeks since, how are you taking care of yourself?

It would be great to know how you are coping, please let us all know.

Take care

[Lissy]

Hey.

My soulmate, he was only 9 years old. So so unexpected. Im still feeling so empty and im becoming depressed aswell.

I think i need to see someone to talk to, like a grief counselor. Or at least a counselor.

I do keep questioning my decision.

So you were saying that your pet had also passed from cancer? Im sorry 🙁

[VM-Mancha1]

Hi Lissy,

I’m glad you came back and saw this. Losing a soulmate is just as hard to cope with whether they walk on two legs or four, it is a deeply profound loss, and it’s only natural to be impacted by that. The stronger we are connected to our loved ones, the more that can be true.

To stand up and make the choice that is right for them takes courage and bravery, and I’m reminded of the definition of bravery – it isn’t about not feeling scared, but about doing what is right despite feeling that fear. It seems you were incredibly brave and made the decision to save your soulmate from further pain, that is a strength you should be proud of.

I was just reading a post from @morgana1963 who went through something similar. I am hoping you too are having some days or times when this isn’t quite as painful, even if just by a little, and it might be worth delving into what’s different in those moments?

If you are feeling that you need further help then I would strongly recommend finding that help. Your GP is always a good starting point, and there are some great resources on the GriefLine website to help as well.

Please keep posting, we’re always here.

[VM-Sunflower]

Hi Lissy, so sorry to hear of your loss – thank you for sharing what is going on for you. Know you are not alone.

[faeriebunnyboots]

As a person who works in the field, and has had to triage own pets during similar events, you absolutely did the best you could and made the best choice. It will still hurt and break your heart. That’s normal and shows you’re a very caring person. These are definitely common feelings after events like these.
You showed him mercy, love and care. We can only hope that us as humans are able to be shown the same mercy from suffering if the day even arises.

Many hugs to you

[Lissy]

Thank you i appreciate that x

[Lissy]

Thank you, i still need to see a grief counselor for sure x

[Lissy]

Working in the field would be so difficult.
Last night i broke down just angry at myself wondering still if i did the right thing.

Feeling like a cruel person wondering every single day about my decision. I miss him so so much

[Lissy]

VM on a journey-

My soulmate, he was only 9 years old. So so unexpected. Im still feeling so empty and im becoming depressed aswell.

I think i need to see someone to talk to, like a grief counselor. Or at least a counselor.

Im just feeling terrible

[Author]

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