Pet loss

[livvy3]

Hello peers,

I lost my horse in October 2022 she was very old and unwell unfortunately I didn’t get the chance to say goodbye to her. She wasn’t put down unfortunately instead she suffered in pain and I’m not happy with the level of care that myself and my horse received it’s very disappointing. I still feel very lost,sad and guilty life just isn’t the same anymore it’s lost it’s fun.

Topic

[livvy3]

I also feel guilty that I didn’t get her put down.

[vrmaggie]

Dear Livvy,

How terribly sad and, as you say, unfortunate.

My mother has rescue donkeys, so I feel a bit of an affinity here with you and the loss of your horse. It is important to notice that you are going through the first stages of grief, a major one being guilt. You also say you and your horse did not receive the appropriate level of care.

If you hadn’t have loved her dearly, you wouldn’t be posting to this forum.

You say, “I also feel guilty that I didn’t get her put down’. Perhaps you believed in supporting her life and not unnecessarily ending it?

Tell me about your beautiful horse and how you came to be connected? Horses are very particular about who they make loving bonds with and excellent judges of character.

[livvy3]

Hello Vrmagie,

Yes my horse was a beautiful girl loved a cuddle kiss and treat . She would often wait at the gate for dinner such a familiar face to the family I miss her quirky cheeky behaviour she would brighten up my day and I feel she gave me a real purpose in life to love horses.

[VMRain]

Hi Livvy
It sounds like she has and always will hold a very special part in your heart.

Her cheeky behaviour seems to have brought a lot of meaning and happiness into your life. It is understandable that you would be feeling lost, sad, and feeling life has lost a fair bit of spark. Given the strong connection you two had, it sounds incredibly painful that you did not get to say goodbye and did not get a choice in her care.

I would love to hear more about her. Can you share with us her name? How did you spend your days with her?

[livvy3]

Her name was lulu when she was younger we went to pony club and I would ride at home for pleasure.

[vm_sapphire]

Hello Livvy,

Thank you for sharing about your special time with LuLu. I loved how you began your post with “hello peers” – yes, we are all on a journey through our grief. Your posts touched people, with thanks to VRMaggie and VMRain for sharing your experiences too. I’ve never had a horse or a donkey but it was lovely to read of your happy times with LuLu, your memories of LuLu’s cuddles and waiting at the gate for her treat made me smile.
I was thinking about how you feel guilty about aspects of LuLu’s experience. I too feel guilty about a much loved pet of ours who we had put down – he’d suffered through a number of operations and I still find myself wishing we had done things differently. But with time, I’ve learned to remember all the love and good times we shared with Darcy. Remembering those happy, loving times helps me – I hope that remembering those special moments with LuLu help you through this difficult time, Livvy.
Please be gentle with yourself and, when you’re ready, remember the many ways you brought happiness to LuLu.

[Author]

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