Numb

[orchidchild]

Hi I’m new here. I lost my Mum 10 months ago. Still feeling quite numb and to be honest know deep down its because I haven’t accepted it. I understand she’s gone but I cant let myself believe it completely. My sisters have been through months of crying and I only seem to have small crys. I am functioning. Going g to my full time job every day. My gp keeps advising I see a counsellor. I can’t afford it and don’t see how it would help.

Topic

[VM-Apples23]

Hi @orchidchild

My condolences for the loss of your mum, this sounds like a tough time for you with emotions both flowing, and hiding away. Grief is certainly a unique journey to be on, it is quite common to have those feelings of numbness linger. I’d like to highlight that there is no ‘correct’ way to grieve, so do not feel bad if you see yourself crying less than others. The experience of grief differs from person to person, that is for sure, and it can be so difficult to navigate through honest acceptance of loss. With those we love, although they may not be here physically, their essence lingers in our minds and hearts for moons to come.

I believe your GP’s recommendation comes from a space of care. I totally understand that financial constraints impact many Australians, so I am glad to see you engaging with the free services of Griefline. If you feel comfortable, please take some time to call the helpline. There is positivity in sharing your story with others. Sharing your story can assist in processing the loss, and in keeping her memory alive. We hear you and are here to support you.
Take care,
Apples.

[VM-Tzimisce]

Hi @orchidchild

Grief is as individual as grains of sand. No two people grieve the same, and it can be disheartening to see others seemingly processing their grief while we feel trapped in limbo. But outward displays of grief are only one part of the process and not everyone is comfortable with them. That’s ok. Your numbness is also ok. No one grieves on a fixed schedule. For some of us, we grieve heavily and publicly in the weeks after a loss, for others we retreat into ourselves to protect ourselves. Sometimes we cannot afford to process the emotions at the time of the loss. Sometimes, we’re simply not READY to process it until months and months later. Occasionally, we may not be able to process it for years. And that, too, is ok. That numb feeling you’re experiencing is called disassociation. It’s a survival tactic.

But it sounds like you might be wanting to start? Or at least, other people are suggesting you do. @VW-Apples23 made an excellent suggestion; please call us and have a chat with our volunteers, sometime. They’re not counsellors or psychologists, but they’ve all experienced a loss in their lives and that’s why they’re here; to help others going through the same thing. You can call us on 1300 845 745 anytime between 8 AM and 8 PM AEST. If you don’t like making phone calls, we also have a call back service that can be booked from the top right-hand corner of the website. We’re here to help, thank you for reaching out to us.

[carly83]

Pls know that you are acting perfectly normal. Grief works in all different ways, makes us feel feelings we didn’t know we had. Being numb is a perfectly acceptable and normal way of grieving.

Sending my thoughts
Carly
Xx

[Author]

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