Hi @Gabbie70, welcome to the forums. It takes courage to write your first post, especially when you’re feeling so unhappy – so well done for that. We are glad you are here and have become part of our community. ☺️
It sounds like you’ve had an awful lot of losses and major life-changes happen to you since losing your Mum 4 years ago. Each one of these can re-activate and compound your grief for her making it hard for you to process it.
It also sounds like you’re feeling very isolated having moved to another town, without a current job and losing your dog after 15 years (the social support provided by companion animals is significant and many of us grieve for them as much as we grieve for the loss of our human loved ones).
However, it’s clear that you have remarkable inner strength and selflessness – you put on a brave face despite the pain inside, you support your daughter’s move even though it leaves you lonely, you listen to your Dad even when he can’t do the same for you. It’s this strength that you can pull on to find your happiness again.
One of the keys to coping is having social support which you’re lacking at the moment. Have you had a chance to look at our Tips for Coping with Loss on the Griefline website? We’ve pulled out a few for you and you can find the entire article here.
Tips to seek comfort and help from others;
• Reach out to family, friends, workmates, community members etc. but permit yourself to retreat when you need to be alone.
• Take the initiative to reach out to new people who have experienced a similar loss – they might be from social groups, sporting clubs, church groups, in the workplace or internet forums. It’s a good idea to make a list of these groups to turn to when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
• Force yourself to be around people and do things – even when it feels too hard. Try to have at least one thing in your calendar every day, along with a back-up.
• Give and receive random acts of kindness and tell others how much you admire, respect or love them.
• Care for others where you can such as your children and elders or pets and animals.
• Engage in faith, religion or spirituality if that is part of your life.
• Seek help from organised, supportive bereavement services such as retreats, group therapy and online forums (click through for the Griefline online forums). You may find one specific to the cause of death such as cancer or suicide groups, or to the type of loss such as a spouse, child, parent.
We’re here to support you as you embark on your mission to find happiness again. Please let us know how you’re going with the day-to-day. We are here for you. 🌸
