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Hi, this is my first time posting here.
I lost my father when I turned 21. Our relationship was not a picture-perfect kind, but he tried his best to be there for me. Until this day I still feel guilty because of the hurtful things I said to him, and because we could never really resolve our misunderstandings. My only wish is to let my father know how much I loved him.
I coped with my father’s passing by getting back to work straight away. My colleagues and friends offered their condolences, but I was laser-focused on moving on. The reason being was I’d see myself as flawed or broken. I guarded up my feelings, but behind the scenes, it was difficult to carry out my daily tasks. I don’t think I have had a decent night sleep ever since the event.
Besides that, a number of other events added up to my anxiety in life – the house where I spent most of my life living in was sold while I was away (didn’t get to see it for one last time); I lost my job at the start of the pandemic; and my ex and I broke up due to the impact of the extended lockdowns.
I find it hard to share my past experiences with even my closest friends. I’d often suppress my emotions in order to feel “normal”. I’m finally doing myself a favour now that I am sharing this here.
Thank you so much for listening.
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