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On June 10th my dad died unexpectedly from a heart attack – I found out from a phone call. Suddenly he wasn’t here anymore. He is gone. My brain has been struggling to process this and for the most part it hasn’t felt real. Then I feel sadness. I have 2 sons (his only grandchildren) one is 3 years old and the other is only 6 months (he was just 3 months old when dad died). He won’t see his grandchildren grow and he won’t be there for my wedding. All my grandparents are still alive but my dad is dead! I usually talk to friends when I’m feeling down but it feel pointless now. The only one who understands is my grandmother (my dad’s mum) I think she is struggling even more than me – she keeps saying ‘no mother should ever have to bury her child’. When I talk to her I don’t feel alone. I don’t even know what advice I am looking for, I don’t know what I need. It’s so out of my control and I know that only time can help but I’m sad. I want my dad back. I feel robbed, I think and think and think. I didn’t get to say goodbye. It seems so strange that there was a living person and suddenly just a body on the floor.
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