MOTHER LOVE ❤️🌸💔 A place to reminisce about Mum/yr maternal figure

[onlinecommunity]

The lead up to Mothers Day can be full of pain and sorrow for those of us who have lost our mum. That’s why we felt it was important to recognise Mothers Day in the forums. We’re inviting our community members (CMs) to share your experience with your mother figure here.

(Please note: we understand that Mums come in many forms – she may be your biological mum, foster/adoptive mum, grandmother, aunty, guardian, sister, mother-figure…they are all equally valued in this space. However, for ease of use in this topic, we will refer to the maternal figure as ‘mum’….)

This month Griefline is exploring ‘Meaning-Making’ as part of grief recovery. Meaning-making is making sense of our loss by finding restorative “benefits” or life lessons in the experience. ‘Continuing Bonds’ is a common technique used in meaning-making. The idea is not to give death any more power than it already has… We need to say our loved one’s name, tell their stories, share memories and avoid losing our important connection with them.

Here are a couple of techniques you can use to continue your bond with your mum;

• Introduce your ‘Mum’ – we invite you to tell us about your mum, what were her special qualities and strengths? Do you have any favourite stories about her? Perhaps she had a favourite song or TV show you’d like to share. Or you might like to post one of her recipes… its really up to you….

• “Hello again” letters – try writing a letter to your mum (or loved one). This can help to re-establish contact with their memory. It’s something you might prefer to try in private at first and perhaps publish later if you are keen to share. Some people like to start their letter with “The one thing I have wanted to ask you is…” or “What I need you to know about me is…”. When you’re ready you can then write a response letter in the words of your mum (or loved one).

So over to you CMs – we’d love to see some mother love here soon. 🌸

Topic

[Ellie]

I remebered my mother with her beautiful blue eyes, and that smile that I see sometime in my daughter’s face. She was kind to other people and hard working. As young children, my brother and I spent time trying to protect her against our father’s drunken violence.
Then, we were taken away to boarding schools. I missed mum so much, I couldn’t speak for awhile, I was crying a lot, having nightmares. I would see her from time to time, was so happy. I kept writing to her, and could smell home in her letters.
I loved my mother so much, I would worry about her, but I couldn’t live at home, she became sick. As I left the country to come to Australia. I continued writing to her. Every time my husband and I went O/S, we would visit, to spend time with her.
I was told that she passed away when she was buried. I miss my mum, I miss my childhood with her and cry.

[onlinecommunity]

Hi @Ellie, what a beautiful depiction of your Mum and the precious time you spent with her. The bond between you is so powerful we could feel it just from reading your words. Our hearts go out to you though for the turmoil of your childhood – having to protect your mum from DV as a little girl and living away from her at boarding school. It sounds like you did the best you could to keep her sure of your love – writing to her and visiting whenever you could. Have you tried writing her a ‘Hello again’ letter? Perhaps you’d like to try it out this mother’s day… it’s another way to keep her close to you. You might even share some of your words with your daughter to ensure she understands how important your mum and her memory is to you.

Thank you for writing @Ellie. We are here for you. 🌸

[Animotodo]

Mother story is the most precious person that cannot be describe in word. Mother is real blessing of God. There is no match for love of mother. We cannot find the example the of her love in his world.

[Author]

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