Lost my son aged 20 in a car accident 5 weeks ago

[psimpson]

It’s been 5 weeks since we lost our eldest son in a tragic car accident killing him instantly. His brother age 18 and a friend age 19 were also in the car and amazingly survived the crash. They both tried to help our son who they couldn’t get out of the car. He was the driver and we believe he protected the other 2 by taking the full brunt of the impact with a tree. He was full of life, happy and really hitting his straps in life and we so badly miss him. My grief has been growing the past 2 weeks since there is no more planning, organising or closing off anything. Time stops for no one and the impact of his death has hit us severely especially me as his mother. I honestly don’t know how we navigate through this except taking one day at a time. My heart is shattered, I’m so sad and can’t stop crying 💔

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[VM – OnAJourney]

Dear psimpson
This is such a huge loss and it does not surprise me that it hit you very hard. It is also not surprising that your grief has been growing the past 2 weeks. Initially, after a loss, we can keep ourselves busy with everything that has to be organised. I find it is a bit like a reprieve, a little delay before the immensity of the loss fully hits us. And then we start wondering how we can go on living with this pain in our hearts. As you say, the only way through it seems to be one step at a time, one day, and sometimes one hour at a time. Having a community around you for support is important, and this forum as well as the helpline can be part of this support. While we cannot physically hold you in your sadness, we are there for you.
Sending you a hug from a mother to a mother

[vmestia]

Dear psimpson,

I can only echo VM-OnAJourney’s sentiments and reflections. One day at a time, making space for you. And space for the others suffering through shock and grief after tremendous loss. Your eldest son sounds like a superstar that your world is crying for. When the world weeps, rivers flow, oceans sigh, clouds roar. I am also watching with you. Big virtual hugs.

[VMKat]

Dear @psimpson
I’m extremely sorry to read about the loss of your eldest son. He sounds like the most wonderful person to be around, full of life, happy and aiming to achieve his best. He showed exceptional care and bravery at the time of the accident.
As mentioned earlier, putting one foot in front of the other in any way possible, leaning on friends and family members, crying and reminiscing is all we can do to move forward in such all-consuming pain. I lost my husband in a road accident. It was the most devastating experience, especially losing him suddenly was difficult, so I truly empathise with you as you experience this grief. The loss of a child can be especially hard to process as you share the greatest bond with him, and by nature, we don’t expect to lose children – in fact, it’s our greatest fear that we would….
One thing that seemed to help me was that I continued my bond and connection with my husband even though he passed away and, in time, found ways of fostering and taking comfort in this enduring connection. I hope you find more ways of coping in the upcoming weeks and share with us what is helping. We are here for you.

[vmzef]

Dear Psimpson,
I am deeply sorry for your loss. Losing a child is one of the most difficult things a parent can go through, and it’s completely understandable that you’re feeling shattered, sad, and overwhelmed with grief.
Taking it one day at a time is a good approach, as the grieving process can be a long and painful journey. It’s important to allow yourself to feel all of the emotions that come with grief, including sadness and anger. It’s okay to cry and to express your feelings in any way that helps you to process your emotions.
Try to remember and honour your son’s life and the memories you shared together. You might consider creating a memorial or doing something special in his memory.
Please remember that we are here to listen and support you in any way we can.

[debsayge]

Hello Psimpson,
From my shattered heart to yours I am so saddened your here xx your deep wisdom in knowing to take one day at a time is incredible xx
You’re crying the tears of love for your beautiful boy xx words will never express……I empathise deeply and am always here to listen.
Much loving care for you today
XxDeb (debsayge)

[vm_sapphire]

Dear P@Simpson, I echo the sentiments of everybody who has replied before me in communicating to you how sorry I am for terrible loss of your eldest son and the trauma caused to your younger son. I hope through the love of your family and friends you find peace and comfort but also know that we are here to listen if you need to share.

I am always amazed and humbled by the depth of kindness and generosity of spirit of the contributions shared through this forum.

[Author]

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