Lost beloved husband to cancer

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  • #36025
    mzmz
    Participant

    Hi all, i am 43F, i recently lost my 42M husband to cancer. I am beyond devastated and heartbroken. We loved each other very very much and were inseperable. Cancer took him away and took his life. Just the rollercoaster of going through cancer itself is painful enough, but now loosing him at such a young age has broken me. If anyone can relate or would like to chat, please reach out

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  • #36787
    VM-yellowtulips
    Participant

    Hello mzmz,

    I just wanted to reach out and see how you are? It sounds like you have been through a devastating loss. Please know that Griefline is here for you and if you’d ever like to call our helpline to chat with one of our trained volunteers you are most welcome to. The number is 1300 845 745, 8am to 8pm: 7 days (AEST).

    I hope you are receiving love and support from your family and friends. Here is a link to some of our information about Coping with Grief https://griefline.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/Griefline-Fact-Sheet-Coping-With-Grief-EN.pdf

    We are here for you.

    #36151
    VM_daffodilduck
    Participant

    Hi Mzmz,
    Thank you for reaching out, it takes courage to speak up and feel vulnerable about our grief.
    Losing the person we love the most shatters us, our world, expectations, and dreams. We can become a shell of who we are if we forget the experiences we had with our beloved. Hard and positive experiences, but nevertheless important because they were created together by you and him.
    Emotionally regulating ourselves is tiring, and how you expressed the “cancer rollercoaster” emphasises the grief that was present before your husband passed for both of you. Because that is what prolonged cancer does to us, some days chemotherapy reduces the tumor, there is vomiting, sickness, tiredness, and feeling weak, which affects us mentally. Positives that are short-lived are the hardest. It’s the hope that things will all change and become better or normal again that also messes with us mentally. It’s a false hope that leads to frustration and annoyance, but your grief, your pain, and your emotions are real because they prove that the combined love, commitment, and overall relationship meant something deep and profound. He was as special to you as you were to him, and I can only imagine your inner resilience, strength, and supportive nature that was provided in such a difficult time and throughout your relationship.
    As strong as we may feel, sometimes we, as the carer, need to feel supported too. We can feel alone and isolated, as if no one understands how deeply wounded we are to lose our significant other. As much as it may feel difficult to hear, you are not alone in your grief. Everyone will experience their grief differently, some more profoundly than others. The closer the connection, the deeper the wound. Reaching out to the people we know and trust can be beneficial in difficult times, asking to seek a shoulder to cry on can be scary, but I do hope you can lean on your resilience and strength to reach out when you need; like you have just shown with your message to us, thank you.
    Communicating with close friends, family, or support lines such as Griefline and sharing how we feel after such a profound loss lets us know that we are suffering from grief in our own beautifully personal way.
    During these times of difficulty and hardship, I invite you to look back on the wonderful relationship and experiences you both created together, as they serve as a testament to what you created with profound love and shared commitment.
    Give yourself time and patience, and most importantly, be kind to yourself.
    Please reach out again if you need to. We are here to listen to you, and we want to hear your story and help (if you want assistance or other resources), or purely just listen, and create a space for you to feel comfortable to express yourself and your grief.
    Thank you again for reaching out and contacting us, we greatly appreciate it.

    #36033
    VM_Sunshine
    Participant

    Hi MzMZ,
    I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing someone you love so deeply is an unimaginable pain, and it’s okay to feel broken right now. Please know you’re not alone—there are people here who understand and care. If you ever feel like sharing more or just need someone to talk to, the Griefline is available. Grief is a deeply personal journey, and there’s no right or wrong way to feel. Give yourself permission to experience your emotions, and try to focus on just getting through one day at a time.

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