Loss to suicide

[cbear]

I lost a close family friend to suicide this week. My heart is broken. My family and friends are in NZ as is the funeral and I feel like no one here can truly understand as they didn’t know him. I feel so alone.

The funeral is Sunday in Auckland. I thought I’d have a fancy cocktail (aiming for just one) and listen to special music in honor of him instead of attending the virtual service.

Sean was 38 and experienced a chronic battle with alcoholism.

I miss life beforehand.

Topic

[vmrose33]

Dear cbear

I am sorry for your loss of your friend Sean. It is terribly hard when we feel alone in our grief because it is not shared by anyone around us.

Are you able to connect with any family or friends in NZ?

I am glad that you reached out here to share; remember you can call our helpline for a chat also, and look at other resources listed on the site.

How you are doing today? Take care

vmrose33

[VM-Serenity66]

Dear @cbear,

I am so deeply sorry for the loss of Sean. It sounds like you are also feeling really isolated, with all your closest support people in NZ. Sadly, this is one I’ve been touched by more than once. A loss to suicide can hit extra hard, be perplexing and hollowing all at the same time. It weighs deeply on the heart. I hope your special remembrance of Sean went OK on Sunday, and that you are taking good care of yourself. While it can seem like the last thing that you want to do, sometimes self-care is the only practical thing you can do, as you start to process what’s happened. I wonder if you can reach out to some of your special folk back home for support. You can always pick up the phone (8am – 8pm 1300845 745) to one of our kind volunteers to talk about how things are for you if that helps.

You may also find some comforting and practical material in the Griefline website resources. This one deals with self care. https://griefline.org.au/resources/east-self-care-guide/

[VM-pink1]

HI Cbear,

Thanks for reaching out, it can be really tough to do so. Your story resonates with me as I seen it has with others. Early grief (all grief but also) when it has been sudden can be really tough to even begin to process. It affects us mind, body and spirit. As we travel the healing path we can ask ourselves what does our mind, body and spirit need in this moment ? The others had great suggestions on self care, I hope youv’e been able to find some ways that resonate with you so you feel more supported at this time. Sometimes, I find only looking back now, the simple small things like remembering to have a glass of water, go outside for fresh air and stretch were truly the big things that helped. Also, connection. There is always support available so reach out to anyone in your circle and remember Griefline is a part of your circle too. Also, the girls at the Good Mourning podcast are great to listen to.

Sending you infinite compassion…

[VM-Loki23]

Dear @Cbear

It has been ten days since your post. I hope that you are in the process of picking up the pieces. Yes, grief is shattering to the heart and soul. And death by suicide is even more crushing for loved ones. It sounds like you had a lot of love for Sean and I hope you were able to create your own ritual to remember him on Sunday.

Grief can be isolating and overwhelming. As has been mentioned by others, I too would like to extend a listening ear and invite you to reach out to Griefline to talk about your journey. Know that you are not alone and we are walking your path with you. Whatever you are feeling and thinking right now is OK.

In time and when you are ready, please have a look at the article as it speaks about the internal and external strengths we can utilise as support during grief.

Grief Recovery Part 2: Recognise and Engage Your Strengths

Sending you compassion and well wishes.

[Author]

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