Loss of two young kids

[lostinlife]

I’ve been pointed here by another site suggesting this grief site was good for lost children.

I lost two children during court custody battle through no fault of my own.

It’s been hard going with a lot of parental alienation on behalf of other parent.

It had been deep grief of the loss of my children from teenagers, not seeing them grow up, fleeting contact and loss of the kids I had such a close a friendly relationship with. Missed out on graduation, driving lessons… at stages I did not know if they were in country.

The grief was enormous- leading me down a dreadful path. Financially I’m ruined. Deeply grief stricken and get fleeting moments of contact. It’s like losing a child, regaining and losing again.

It’s been a hard journey of sleepless nights, anxiety, nightmares, not knowing where my children were and complete and absolute fear.

I’m living elsewhere as ex is not safe and I battled through courts for access. He had children and relocated them to places unknown. I had little access to them for short while then more and more access depending on child. By then there was a lot of damage done. I am getting more and more contact but nothing like it was. We were so close now it’s different.

I’m reaching out for support. Any parents here in similar situation?

Topic

[vmremember]

Hello lostinlife,

You have certainly travelled a very difficult journey with much loss, grief, and trauma from what you have experienced. The court custody battle you endured I can only imagine must of been an emotional, physical, and psychologically draining situation. I can hear the pain that you have experienced in the sentences that you write. I wonder how you have been able to cope during this time. It sounds like it has been a lonely and hurtful journey at times with friends turning out to not be friends and your ex not making you feel safe.

This forum is one space where you can connect with people with similar journeys or difficult situations in life. Our website http://www.griefline.org.au might offer some further support for you. There are resources – fact sheets on the website and you can book a session with a volunteer griefline worker at a date and time of your choosing. Explore the group support sessions offered in certain states and make an inquiry to see if one is near you.

Other helplines that might be able to offer support for you during this difficult time are Lifeline 131114 and beyond blue 1300 22 4636.

Keep reaching out to Griefline and other helpline.

You are not alone and you have been heard.

[VMGeorge553]

Dear lostinlife,

It sounds like you have experienced such difficult circumstances with having to grieve the loss of a consistent relationship with your children and being able to be present for their big moments, I am so sorry you have to deal with this. It sounds like you are very self-aware of your mental state by your accounts of intense anxiety and sleepless nights worried about their wellbeing and being able to articulate these difficult experiences.

You must have summoned some immense strength to make it through such an ordeal, I can only imagine how strong of a person you are. Although I have not experienced the loss of a child through court custody, I hope you can find the support that you’re seeking. Griefline’s telephone support is available at 1300 845 745 from 8am-8pm (AEDT) Monday to Friday.

Have you managed to get some support since you posted?

• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by onlinecommunity.

[VMKat]

Hello lostinlife,
I’m sincerely sorry for the loss of time, connection, and experiences with your two precious children and the hardship you’ve been going through. I can’t imagine how painful it must be to experience what you’re going through. How have you been coping with all of this? Would you like to share what is helping you right now? In such difficult and continuing circumstances, what can help is to strengthen our resilience against hardship. This article offers simple, practical tips for this https://griefline.org.au/resources/east-toolkit/

[Author]

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