Loss of our beautiful boy

Resize text-+=

Home Forums Loss of a pet Loss of our beautiful boy

Tagged: 

  • Creator
    Topic
  • #31452
    gritsbestie
    Participant

    We lost our 10 year old German shepherd x Rotty yesterday morning very suddenly. He was a seemingly very healthy, active boy even in his older age but got sick really suddenly in the night and when we got to the vet he had all fluid around his heart and abdomen and was dying. They think maybe he had cancer – it deteriorated really quick there was nothing they could do. My husband stayed with him as they put him to sleep and he doesn’t want to upset me with details but said it wasn’t pleasant or peaceful like they tell you it is.
    We feel absolutely heartbroken. My husband suffers with bouts of major depression and our beautiful boy has gotten him through some really dark times, he is really feeling the loss.
    Thank you for reading x

Viewing 3 replies - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)
  • Author
    Replies
  • #31524
    abc01
    Participant

    Dear gritsbestie,

    I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved fur family member . I have had a similar experience with a dash to the emergency vet at midnight and it too was traumatic due to the suddenness and outcome. My boy was okay only hours before and then he went into heart failure, and I had to put him down.

    First off I want to tell you how incredibly brave and courageous you both were in taking action for your boy. You were his strength in his hardest moments and being there with him,hearing your voice,smelling your scent and feeling your touch is what they needed and brings them the most comfort, more then any medicine can.
    I won’t lie, I still remember my experience with my cat passing in the clinic in my arms, however over time I no longer recall every single moment that once traumatised me. I also now have clarity of the moment without emotional rawness clouding my recall. He was gravely ill,he hid it well,we went to the emergency clinic,they gave me choices, I made the best one for him(and not holding on for me), I went through with the procedure and he was passed away. Now I see how I did the best thing. At the time I questioned alot.

    I would like to remind you that you did do the best thing for your boy with the options you would have been given. One thing people feel, and I did too, is feel immense guilt that you made that decision that ended their physical life. It doesn’t matter who, what, where, when – we were the one who said yes to it. Please know you and your husband didn’t do anything wrong. Not a thing. In fact,you did the right thing for your beloved boy. Guilt,anxiety and fear are all apart of grief and they can spin false thoughts. Shock also creates false thoughts or distorts what you can remember due to your mind being overwhelmed and on overdrive. Please comfort each other and remind yourselves of this.

    Secondly the love for your boy is shining through so brightly. Try not to allow the last day with him,to define your lifetime with him. You have years of love,fun and adventure with him and are the people you are today because of him. Let that light shine through. Photos, a shadow box full of momentos, a coffee table book full of favourite moments(which can be printed at many places-as well as mugs ect.), a customised candle holder with your dogs name on it (from etsy ect.) so you can light a candle-are all things to help memorialise and create a bond with your dog now. I talk to my furry friends who pass over, saying good morning and good night.

    And lastly, you mentioned that your husband has had some heavy moments in life that your dog helped him through. Please make sure if he needs too,he reconnects with people who can help with his emotional health needs. And yours too. Death of pets who are your family are intense and need to be addressed as much as any other loss. Your loss is valid.

    Please take care of yourself and your husband. Take your time with your own grief. There is no set limit and unfortunately we grieve so hard, because we love even harder,
    ABC01

    #31490
    VM-BraveHeart
    Participant

    I’m so sorry for the sudden loss of your beloved boy. Losing a pet, especially one who has been part of your family for ten years, can be absolutely heartbreaking. The shock and pain you and your husband are experiencing is completely understandable.

    I am just a young man, but I have had the honour of standing by three family pets (one more, we suspect, in just a few weeks) in their final days/hours. It was tempting to think I would get ‘better’ at the grieving process, but each death’s respective grieving process has been completely different but equally as difficult. The sudden losses have been very traumatic for my family and me, and it took a few months before we had really come to terms with it. During this time, we would often speak about it and let the tears flow while being in each other’s arms. As the days and weeks passed, we had times when we would be laughing and crying at the same time about all the funny memories we shared with the dogs. Eventually, we always end up deciding at the right time when and if we would like to get a new pet. The new pet never ‘replaces’ the old one, but the spirit of joy and life that a new puppy graces our household with helps us heal and move forward while still cherishing the memories of our past companions.

    Sometimes, people find that sharing their favourite stories about their loved ones helps the grieving process. If you are willing to share, I would love to hear one of those stories in this post. Or perhaps you would prefer to talk with one of us over the phone using the details shared by VM-Tzimisce.

    The saying “man’s best friend” does not even begin to describe the depth of the connection that one can have with their animal family member. Your experience of sudden loss resonates deeply with me, and I want you to know that your feelings are valid and shared by many who have gone through similar situations. It’s okay to grieve, to feel overwhelmed, and to take the time you need to process this loss. Remember, there’s no right or wrong way to navigate this difficult time. Be gentle with yourselves, and know that this community is here to support you.

    #31487
    VM-Tzimisce
    Participant

    @gritsbestie

    I am so very sorry to hear what you and your husband are going through right now. If it is any consolation, animals often hide the symptoms of disease or injury from us until it is too late. It is no one’s fault, what happened to your boy. Furthermore, while his death may not have been pleasant peaceful, it was far better than the fear and pain he would have died in without you and husband’s support. In some cases, we cannot completely do away with fear or pain during a death, but we should try to take comfort in our ability to lessen it as much as possible. Remind your husband and yourself that you did all you could for your beloved family pet. It might help to read our resource pack on losing a pet: https://griefline.org.au/resources/losing-a-pet/ .

    If you or your husband would like to talk to someone over the phone about what has happened, our helpline is available from 8 AM to 8 PM AEST on 1300 845 745. We also have a booked call service that you can find by scrolling to the top of the website.

    Losing a Pet

Viewing 3 replies - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

Subscribe to our newsletter

Enter your details to stay up to date with our news and programs. You can unsubscribe at any time.

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.