Home › Forums › Loss of a loved one › Loss of my mum
- This topic has 8 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 1 month, 3 weeks ago by VM-didimoll.
-
CreatorTopic
-
June 1, 2024 at 9:11 pm #30956benicParticipant
My mum was diagnosed with stage 4 bone cancer in Oct 23, we lost her in Feb 24. She ended up in hospital and then into palliative care. It was incredibly hard watching my mum slowly die. It was such a hard road in hospital. I feel so lost & empty. I use to speak to her everyday & she use to give me great advice and help in anyway. It honestly feels like I have no one to talk to anymore and I’m taking it on my family & it’s effecting my business.
-
CreatorTopic
-
AuthorReplies
-
June 3, 2024 at 11:56 am #30964VM-TzimisceParticipant
Hi @benic
I’m sorry it has taken a couple of days for anyone to get back to you. It sounds like you really need someone to talk to, someone who might be able to help you figure things out. Our Helpline is open between 8 am and 8 pm AEST, every day of the week, month and year. We are here to listen to you and offer guidance during this time. You can call us on 1300 845 745 and a volunteer will be available for you to speak to.
It is good that you can recognise that your grief is impacting other aspects of your life and it’s good that you’ve reached out for help. I am going to leave a few resources below, but I also strongly advise that you call the Helpline for a chat, as hearing a friendly, understanding voice can go a long way at this time.
https://griefline.org.au/resources/coping-with-loss/ – this page will give you tips and advice on how you are feeling right now and how to deal with those emotions.
https://griefline.org.au/resources/east-self-care-guide/ – this page has some advice on how self-care. During these times, we can forget to look after ourselves, but that is not what your mother would have wanted.If you need to talk, we are always here ready to listen.
June 4, 2024 at 8:04 pm #31112kezzParticipantHi benic,
This is my first post here and my Mum passed in February 2024 too. She was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian at the age of 87, in September 2023.
You saying “I feel so lost & empty. I use to speak to her everyday & she use to give me great advice and help in anyway. It honestly feels like I have no one to talk to anymore…”
My thoughts exactly. You wrote precisely what I have thought and felt since Feb. It is so so hard. I’m 63 and we were best friends for the last 30yrs.
She and my Dad (prostate cancer diagnosis September last year too – on ‘watch and wait’ so no real physical problems to date but he doesn’t want to do anything, just wants to go and be with Mum), had their 65th Wedding anniversary in December 2023, and they both turned 88 in Jan and Feb this year, my Mum a week before she passed.
We were very blessed, apart from being extremely fatigued and not being able to eat as usual, she was quite well, able to see all the family, fortunately not in any pain.
We did a lot of hospital in and outs, some for a few weeks, some just a week. She elected to do some mild chemo (so Brave) but we knew we had her for a short time.
I can’t imagine what you and your Mum went through – it sounds as if you were in a much worse situation.
Just wanted to say ‘Hi’ to you. I share the grief with you of our Mums passing and missing them so much.
I have an extraordinary grief psychologist from the Cancer Council – free telephone appointments.
Because you said “I’m taking it on my family & it’s effecting my business.” I would like to encourage you to try them out.If you would like to share more with me I will keep my eye out here but I will keep you in my thoughts as we face this heart wrenching new phase of our lives.
Put simply it just sucks!
Virtual hugs
KezzJune 5, 2024 at 10:55 am #31126VM-RedCat24ParticipantHi @kezz,
Thank you so much for your wonderful, supportive response and for sharing your story. Some people find speaking with others who are going through similar grief experiences helpful, so I am really glad that you and Benic have crossed paths.
It sounds like you have a beautiful relationship with both your parents and you have been a great support for both your Mum and Dad – they are lucky to have you :).
Just as you said, ‘it just sucks’ and it really does. But it sounds like you are doing all you can to process and explore your grief. I’m glad you are getting grief support from a psychologist – thank you for sharing this resource!
Give yourself time and space to grieve. I hope that the forum and connection with others, like Benic, continues and will be helpful to you both.
If you need us, we are here to listen. On the forum or our helpline: 1300 845 745. Take care.
June 5, 2024 at 8:31 pm #31145kezzParticipantThank you @VM-RedCat24, truly appreciate your encouragement.
I am finding grief an unexpected roller coaster – thought it would be more linear – however I am learning how to roll with the punches.
Will definitely be accessing the resources here – feel lucky to have found Griefline.
Kind Regards,
KezzJune 12, 2024 at 3:32 pm #31199VM-RedCat24ParticipantHi @kezz,
Yes, thinking grief as a linear process is so common but once we are on that ‘rollercoaster’, as you describe, we often find that not to be the case. I’m so glad you are learning to roll with the punches – perhaps proof of your ability to connect with your grief and move forward with it.
I’m glad that you have found Griefline and have felt able to share your story. Take care of yourself and please keep reaching out.
September 16, 2024 at 8:52 pm #33827camtanaParticipantsay hi
September 16, 2024 at 10:01 pm #33835kezzParticipantHi camtana, are you ok? Probably not great if you’re here? Tell us more of what’s happening in your life so we can give you in any help in any way.
September 17, 2024 at 10:37 am #33836VM-didimollParticipantHi Camtana, hope you are well. Would you like to share something? Sometimes, it can be difficult to get started. Take your time, we are here for you whenever you are ready.
-
AuthorReplies
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.