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5 years ago I lost my mum. Very suddenly. She died in her sleep. Months later my grandma died. These women raised me. They were my family. All I knew for 21 years. My life changed and I now live with anxiety. I have a son who is 7. When my mum died I became afraid that he would too. I would have outbursts of grief and anger and my partner didn’t know how to handle me. He suggested I speak to someone. I saw a psychologist for a year and felt optimistic while still anxious but it felt manageable. Over the past few years I have felt as though I’ve relapsed. A while ago my partner and I had an argument and he told me he has no empathy or sympathy and what I’m looking for from him, I will not find. I felt alone, betrayed and sad. When I mention my worries or how I’m feeling he just checks out. Just gives an obligatory “ahuh” or “yeah” while not even looking at me. I’m just unsure where I go from here. I mean, we just don’t seem to mesh anymore. He suggested I go and see someone again and I’ve made an appointment but I’ve asked him to find ways to help me and he said his way of helping is suggesting I see someone because he can’t give me what I need. As a very sympathetic, emotional person I find it hard to comprehend. He says he was brought up to be like that. I asked his mum, who I’m very close to, and she confirmed that’s how she brought him up because she was brought up like that. I’ve reminded him that grief is different for everyone and I will never be over the loss of my mum and nan and he told me he thought I would be by now. I just don’t know what my next step should be. I feel like I’m doing everything I can to deal with the grief but need support from my partner of 12 years too.
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