Loosing my Mum

[davidfulton]

As I write this my Mum is dying of COPD and heart failure. She’s 61 years old.
I feel totally alone and I can’t stop crying.
The paramedics and the home palliative care team don’t expect her to make it to morning.
It was such a shock because she was awake and talking to me normally this morning, then by lunch time she was completely unresponsive.

My Mum was my best friend and I don’t know what i’m going to do once she’s gone. I don’t have many friends or family to rely on
so i’m going to be all alone and that scares the hell out of me.

I wish I told her I loved her while she was still conscious.

Topic

[VM-RedCat24]

Hi DavidFulton,

Thank you for reaching out to us and I am so glad that you did. I can’t even imagine what you must be going through. It seems like you and your mum have a beautiful relationship and it sounds as though she knows how much you love her.

You mentioned not having many friends or family but I am wondering if there is somebody close to you that will be there to comfort you?

If you have not yet done so, please when ready, call our helpline and one of our well-trained volunteers will be there to sit with you in your grief and listen, if you feel able to talk. Life will look different now and the pain that grief brings can be unimaginable but please know that you are not alone, we are always available either on this forum or on our helpline, 1300 845 745, which is available 8am-8pm. If you would like to speak with somebody outside of our times, Beyond Blue are another helpline whom are available 24/7 and their number is: 1300 224 636.

Be kind to yourself DavidFulton, give yourself time to grieve and space to process what is happening for you. We hope to hear from you again.

[VM-Apples23]

Hi @davidfulton

First of all I’d like to express how courageous it is of you to come forward and express your feelings during this time. The sense of impending loss can feel shocking, saddening and difficult to navigate. Your mum sounds like a lovely lady, it is so nice to see that you care about her deeply, and that she has a supportive medical team by her side. She knows that you love her :))

At this time I would encourage you to be gracious with how you feel, allowing your emotions to naturally arrive and evolve. I’d like to let you know that grief is not a linear process, and that there is no ‘right or wrong’ way to grieve. Many individuals when grieving think into the future (which is acceptable for sure) however it is also important to stay present in the here and now. Writing down how you are feeling, or speaking with a neighbour or friend can be a great way to be supported, and have your experience be acknowledged. You are not alone. Here at Griefline we have a variety of resources available online, as well as the phone line which is available between 8am and 8pm 7 days per week.

Take care, and please reach out again if you’d like further support.

[VM-rose]

Hello @davidfulton, I am so sorry to hear about your mother. Your mother sounds like an amazing woman, I can’t imagine what you’re going through. As mentioned by @VM-RedCat24, when you’re ready, you can call Griefline and speak with a trained volunteer. You can also continue to connect with others by using the Griefline forum. It’s so important during this incredibly difficult time to connect with others who are going through grief and loss. There are also some great insights and coping strategies on the Griefline resources page: https://griefline.org.au/resources. As mentioned by @VM-Apples23, during this incredibly difficult time it’s important to be kind to yourself and allow your emotions to be released. The way you are feeling is completely natural and it’s important to remember that you are in the early stages of your grieving process. You’ve taken a courageous first step by reaching out to Griefline. We’re here to listen and support you.

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